


Another Prophecy

by Project324b21



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F, Polyamory, Season/Series 06, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2020-01-12 18:53:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18452555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project324b21/pseuds/Project324b21
Summary: "The champion of light is born anew, the champion of dark comes back too, they join together with the peaceful mind, one sole mission to save man-kind"Buffy becomes suicidal after being brought back. Can another slayer, a blonde witch, and a prophecy help her heal?Trigger warning for self harm and suicide. Rated explicit for later chapters. Story starts dark but has some light moments as well.





	1. Empathy

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I have been working on for a while. I am going to post the first few chapters here and hope that somebody likes it. I welcome feedback as long as you are respectful about it. Let me know if you want more! A while back a read a story about Tara, Buffy, and Faith being in a relationship and I really enjoyed the dynamic. So I thought I'd try it out.
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!

The last six or seven months, in Tara's opinion, have been crazy. First Buffy was dead, that was when the council released Faith from Jail and sent her to the hell-mouth. Willow, Xander, and Dawn had not taken to her being back well. Not until Tara read her aura and told them she wasn't a danger any longer. Right off the bat Faith sat down with all of them, individually, to apologize and make amends for her actions. Faith moved into the basement and slowly everyone started to get comfortable around each other. Then, Willow decided she wanted to bring Buffy back. Xander agreed to it right away, but Anya and Tara had some concerns. Anya had been around long enough to see how wrong that could go, and Tara's mother raised her on the beliefs that some things you just don't mess with. Life and death, being one of those things. 

One day Willow told them that she was doing the spell, no matter if they were there or not. Tara and Anya agreed that it would be safer for them all to be there, so they did it. Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya, raised Buffy from the dead without telling anyone else. Tara couldn't help the relief she felt when the urn broke and it seemed they had failed. Knowing what could have happened to Buffy if they succeeded, made her terrified. Then they saw Buffy, covered in dirt and blood, and Tara felt her heart stop. Buffy had acted weird the first few weeks of her being back. They all totaled it to her being in a hell dimension but then Sweet came. Dealing with the discovery of Willow's betrayal and Buffy's previous whereabouts all in one day had almost broken Tara. Then the next day Willow did another spell and they lost all their memories. Willow's promised week of no magic turned into less than twenty-four hours. Tara left Willow and moved out. That all led up to where she is now, sitting with Willow in Buffy's dining room.

"I want you to know, I've been visiting a coven in L.A. weekly to help get my magic under control." Willow nervously tells her. "I've been spell free for a month." Willow beams.

"Willow, that's great. I'm very proud of what you're doing." Tara smiles. She feels some emotion pushing at her shields but she ignores it, thinking it's Willow. No one really knows about her empath powers. She stopped telling people after she lost a few friends because of it. It freaked people out that she knew how they were feeling. Tara tried to explain her shields, she really did, but no one would listen. Tara doesn't lower her shields unless she needs to.

"I wanted to actually sit down and apologized for what I did to you." Willow takes a deep breath and Tara frowns at the tears gathering in the red head's eyes. "I'm so sorry I did that to you." A few tears fall down Willow's cheeks. "I am completely disgusted with myself for being able to do that to you...especially after Glory." Willow snarls her lip up. Tara's eyebrows furrow as whatever is trying to push at her shields gets stronger. "I have a problem and I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry, Tara. I'm so sorry." Willow cries.

"I accept your apology Willow. I don't forgive you yet. I will never be able to forget, but I believe we can work through this and be friends." Tara smiles sadly and pats Willows hand.

"Just friends?" Willow whispers. Tara's heart aches at the pain on Willow's face. She will always love Willow, but she isn't in love with her anymore.

"Just friends." Tara nods. "I'm sorry, honey. I just won't be able to trust you like that ever again. I would always be wondering if you did something else to me." Tara explains, frowning as the wave of emotion keeps getting stronger and stronger, knowing it will burst through her shields soon.

"I understand. I am really sorry. I'll respect your wishes." Willow nods as she cries. Tara examines Willow, looking into her eyes and watching her body language.

"It's not you." Tara whispers to herself softly.

"I'm sorry?" Willow asks. "I didn't hear you."

"Hang on." Tara raises her hand. Closing her eyes, she breathes in and out deeply for a few moments. Then very slowly she starts to lower her shields down. Her eyes pop open and she lets out a gasp as she finally feels what has been tugging at her. "BUFFY!" Tara yells as she runs up the stairs as fast as she can.

"What's going on?" Willow follows behind her worried.

"Where's Buffy?" Tara pants out, her eyes heavy with tears.

"In the bathroom. She said she was going to take a shower." Willow points to the door, following as Tara runs to it and starts banging on it.

"Buffy! Let me in. Please open the door!" Tara yells loudly. She grabs the doorknob and tries to jar it open, with no luck. "Please no." She whimpers.

"What's wrong?" Faith yells up the stairs.

"Thank Goddess." Tara whispers. "Faith, I need this door open now!" The blonde wiccan yells stepping away.

Faith takes the stairs three at a time and runs to the two girls. She looks between a distraught Tara and a confused but worried Willow, and nods to herself. Stepping up to the door, she frowns as she hears loud sobbing. "Buffy, please open the door." Faith calls out. She curses quietly as she doesn't hear any moving. "Step back." She warns the witches. Lifting her foot up, she kicks the door open and gasps out at what she sees. "Oh God."

Buffy sits on the bathroom floor with seven empty pill bottles around her and dozens of deep cuts on her arms and legs. There is blood all over Buffy and the bathroom. The knife she holds in her hand slowly drips the dark red liquid onto the floor. Buffy looks up at the three women with bloodshot eyes. "Why can't I go back?" Buffy sobs. "I want to die, why cant I die?" Buffy slices the knife through her leg again, shocking the three women into movement.

"Buffy, no!" Tara slides down next to Buffy and tries to get the knife out of her hand. Growling when it doesn't budge, Tara looks up at Faith. "I can't get it."

"Move over." Faith gets down on the floor beside Tara, neither of them worrying about the blood getting on them. "Give it here, B." Faith pulls on the knife, wincing as Buffy's other hand comes up to strike at her face. "I deserve that and a lot more, B. But you're still going to give me this knife." Faith ignores Buffy's other hand scratching down her cheek and the screams coming out of her mouth. Cursing under her breath, she brings her hand up to hit Buffy in the face, shocking her enough to rip the knife out of her hands. "Watch out Willow!" Faith throws the knife out of the bathroom.

"No!" Buffy screams and launches herself at the door.

Tara overlooks the scene with tears streaking her face. When she sees Buffy moving for the door, she whispers a couple words under her breath and watches as she hits an invisible barrier in the doorway. Buffy lays her head down on the floor and curls herself in a ball. Tara and Faith move over to her, sighing sadly at the sobs wracking the small girls body. Tara reaches over and pulls Buffy into her lap, letting the slayer curl up against her. Tara's head snaps up as she hears the front door open. "Willow, go to Dawn! Don't let her see this!" Willow snaps out of her daze and starts wiping the tears off her face before running down the stairs.

Faith gets up and shuts the door the best she can and looks down at the two blondes. "We need to get her in the shower so we can see how deep those cuts are." She speaks softly, watching as Tara nods. "It would probably be easier for us both to get it with her to wash all the blood off." The brunette suggests. "Or, if you're uncomfortable with that, I can get her."

Tara shakes her head. "I don't mind." Looking down at the slayer in her arms she pushes Buffy's hair out of her face. "We're gonna get you cleaned up." She speaks softly to the still sobbing girl. "Faith can you help her up?"

"Yeah." Faith nods. "Come on, B." She leans down and pulls Buffy up by her armpits, getting her to stand up. Tara stands up after her and stands behind Buffy.

"I'm going to get your clothes off of you." Tara warns Buffy. She reaches for the hem of Buffy's tank top, inhaling sharply at the sight of the bones protruding out from her skin. Reaching down she pulls her shorts and underwear down in one careful movement. Stepping back from the naked slayer, Tara quickly rids herself of all her clothes and turns to get the shower running.

Faith feels herself blush as she watches the Wiccan undress, knowing that she has had feelings for the blonde for a while now. After the girl that she had always loved died, she had fallen for the Wiccan, and now the first girl is back, and she has feelings for them both. Faith shakes her head at the confusing thoughts and lets Tara grab onto Buffy so that she can undress as well. Stripping her clothes quickly, she steps into the shower and reaches her hands out to help Buffy in. Tara steps in after them and closes the shower doors.

"Alright, Buffy. Lets ease you under the water." Tara instructs, tearing up again at the amount of blood going down the drain. Slowly, Tara and Faith manage to wash off Buffy and themselves, watching as the blonde slayer stops sobbing and just silently cries. Tara examines the wounds on Buffy's body, noting that a lot of them will need to be stitched. Tara looks up into sad brown eyes and nods in understanding. Knowing that the other slayer is feeling as helpless as she is. Looking back at Buffy, she sighs at the blank look in her eyes. "Come on, lets get you dressed, stitched, and in bed." Tara softly orders. Turning off the water and stepping out of the bathtub, she grabs towels for the three of them. Both Faith and Tara dry themselves off quickly, then do the same to Buffy. "I need to go get the first aid kit." Tara murmurs.

"Don't worry about it." Faith shakes her head at the confusion showing on Tara's face. "Just trust me." Tara nods and they go about getting Buffy dressed in fresh pajamas. "Come on, B" Faith urges. "Lets get you to bed." Faith fights back tears as the small blonde still shows no emotion or reaction at all. Faith was so used to seeing a bright spark in those hazel eyes. No matter if she was happy, sad, or angry, that spark was there. Now, it seemed life had finally been able to break her. The one person who Faith thought could never be fought down. Shaking her head of her thoughts, she helps Tara get Buffy settled in bed.

Tara sighs as she pulls the bedroom door shut. "Are you sure we shouldn't go get the suture kit?"

"No. Nothings going to happen." Faith shakes her head.

"Okay." Tara nods. "We need to go talk to Willow and Dawn, so I'm going to do a spell that wont let her leave her room." 

"I hate that it's come to this, but that would probably be best." Faith frowns. Tara whispers words similar to the ones she did earlier, before nodding at Faith and heading downstairs.

"Tara!" Dawn exclaims as soon as she sees her. Her skinny arms wrap around Tara's waist tightly as Dawn cries. Tara feels her heart break more, knowing that this has been almost as hard for Dawn, as it has been for Buffy. No fifteen year old should have to go through this much.

"Is she okay?" Willow sniffles, her face red and blotchy from crying. Willow mentally rants to herself, knowing that if she hadn't been so selfish, Buffy could have been spared this pain. She told everyone that Buffy was probably in a hell dimension, but she honestly didn't believe that. She just missed her best friend and felt like a piece of her was missing. She didn't know what the consequences would be, and even if she did, she still doesn't know if it would of changed her mind. That, more than anything, is what scares her.

"Physically, I think so." Tara nods, stroking her hand through Dawn's long hair.

"She is." Faith nods. "I was waiting until we got to where she couldn't hear us, to explain." She waits until everybody is looking at her, before talking again. "After the body switching, before I went to L.A., I tried to kill myself." Feeling a wave of pain from the memory, she lets out a shaky sigh. "No matter what I did, I wouldn't die. I'd just get injured." Faith shrugged. "After, I tried to piss Angel off enough to get him to kill me. You all know the rest of that story." She waves her hand. "But, basically, I think it's a slayer thing. I don't think we can kill ourselves." She finishes.

"Have you ever talked to anyone else about this?" Willow questions quietly. Seeing Faith shake her head Willow starts to think. "I can only guess, but it's probably because of the trauma slayers face. The ancient council people didn't want to keep going through a new slayer every couple of months." Willow shrugs. "I can call Giles and ask him."

"That's probably best." Faith comments.

Willow looks down sadly. "It's the least I can do. This is all my fault after all."

"It's partially my fault too." Tara squeezes the red heads shoulder. "But we cant focus on that. We have to focus on helping Buffy in anyway we can."

"How can I help?" Dawn sniffles.

"Be on your best behavior." Tara smiles down at her. "We need to try to not stress her anymore. You should try to spend some time with her too." She looks at the other two women in the room. "We all should."

"I've been stuck in my own head about my petty little problems." Willow berates herself. "I didn't even see how bad it was! I'm such a horrible person."

"None of us did, Red." Faith shakes her head. "It's not your fault."

"Willow?" Tara gets her attention. "Can you call Giles, or do you want me to do it?"

Willow looks into the blue eyes she fell in love with years ago. "I got it." She nods, readying herself for the hard conversation ahead. Shakily, she walks into the kitchen and picks up the phone. "I'm sorry, Giles." Willow whispers to herself before dialing the watchers number. She breathes deeply as the phone starts ringing.

"Hello?" The familiar British voice immediately helps comfort Willow. She never told him how much him leaving hurt her as well. It probably hurt all of them, if she thinks about it. He was the strong father figure that none of them had.

"Hey, Giles. It's Willow." She talks softly. "Something happened."

"Is everyone alright?" Giles voice becomes intense, showing his worry.

"Physically, yes. Mentally?" She chokes down a sob. "Not at all."

Giles hears the tell tell sounds of Willow crying and stands up, having a gut feeling that he will start pacing in a second. "What happened?" Giles inquires, frowning at the harsh sound of sobbing. He waits as Willow tries to calm herself, not wanting to upset her further by pushing her. He pulls his glasses off and sits them on the table.

"Buffy tried to kill herself." Willow finally cries out.

"Dear Lord." Giles bows his head. "Is someone watching her?"

"Tara did a spell so she couldn't leave her room." She informs him. "Giles, she took seven bottles of pills and cut herself deeply, dozens of times on her arms and legs."

"Oh, Buffy." Giles whispers.

"By all rights, that should have killed her." Willow wipes at the tears still streaking down her face.

"Yes, normally it would." Giles agrees. He feels as if his heart has been shattered. It only took a couple weeks for him to get attached to his slayer. As the years went by, he started seeing her as a daughter. He felt his heart break for her every time her destiny took a tole on her. Her learning of the master killing her was the first time his heart realized how much he loved her. He tried his hardest to protect her, but there wasn't much he could do at times.

"Faith told us that she tried to kill herself a couple years ago, and that no matter what she did, she wouldn't die." Willow explains. "She thinks its a slayer thing."

Giles nods his head to himself. "It is." He confirms. "I'm not sure how it happened, but Faith is right. Slayers can not commit suicide." He runs his hand across his face and sighs. "It dates back to the first watchers journal. Many slayers over time have tried it."

"What do we do, Giles?" Willow whispers. "I feel so lost."

"I'm going to catch a flight to Sunnydale." Giles sighs harshly. "This is my fault. I shouldn't have left her. I should have seen the signs."

"We've all been playing the blame game." Willow sniffles. "But I'm the one who brought her back. I'm the only one at fault here."

"I truly don't believe that, but we will discuss this at a later date. I'm going to call the airport and I will be there as soon as I can." Giles stresses.

"Okay. Be safe." Willow says her goodbyes and hangs up the phone. She walks back to the steps where everyone is waiting. "You were right, Faith." She nods.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Dawn questions quietly, seeing the look of dread on their faces. "I mean, she's still alive because of that, right?" She looks at Tara, always having looked up to her.

"It's a good thing she's still here." Tara hesitates.

"But, she could also take more drastic measures to get the job done." Faith finishes, seeing the pain on Tara's face. "Like I did, when I went to Angel."

Dawn nods in understanding. "So, she could go let a vampire or demon kill her." Dawn closes her eyes as a fresh batch of tears start falling. "What else did Giles say?" Dawn looks up at Willow.

"He's calling the airport to catch a flight here." Dawn nods at Willow.

Tara looks between all of the women and sighs. "We should probably try to catch some sleep. There's nothing we can do right now." She suggests.

"Who's gonna watch, B?" Faith asks, not liking the thought of her being left alone.

"I can sleep in there with her." Tara offers. "There's no way I'm going back to the dorms now. Plus, I need to keep the spell up."

"Do you think I should go too?" Faith sees the questioning look in Tara's eyes. "In case she gets violent again." She explains.

Tara's eyes go wide and she jumps up. "Goddess, Faith! I forgot to clean your cheek."

Faith looks up confused at why the witch is so worried. "It's fine. Just a couple of claw marks, they'll be gone mid day tomorrow." She assures her. "I honestly forgot about them until just now." She shrugs.

"Are you sure?" Tara looks at her intently. At Faiths nod, she relaxes. "Okay. Let's go to bed. Faith and I will be with Buffy." Tara looks at Dawn. "She'll be safer with another slayer and a witch. We wont let her do anything." Tara promises.

"Okay." Dawn hugs Tara tightly, before moving over and doing the same to Faith, surprising the dark slayer.

"It will be okay, munchkin." Faith whispers to her.

"Do you want to sleep in my room with me, Dawnie?" Willow offers.

"Please." Dawn nods. Willow reaches her hand out and smiles at Dawn when she takes it.

"Night, guys." Willow softly calls as they make their way upstairs.

Watching until they disappear, Tara drops her head in her hands and starts quietly sobbing. Faith snaps her head up surprised, and wraps one arms awkwardly around Tara. "It will be okay." Faith murmurs. They sit there for a while, waiting for Tara to calm. Faith feels some tears in her eyes, but fights them back. If she cried, that would just stress Tara more. After Tara's sobs turn into quiet sniffles, Faith nudges her gently. "Let's go check on B and go to sleep." Faith helps Tara stand and they silently walk up the stairs.

Opening the bedroom door, they see that Buffy is asleep, still with a troubled look on her face. Walking to either sides of the bed, they work to move Buffy's body to the middle, and both climb in beside the other slayer. Tara reaches out and runs her hands through damp blonde hair. "I never meant to do this to you." She whispers as she reaches up and kisses her on the forehead. Pulling back, she sees Faith looking at her intently. Giving her a soft smile, Tara speaks. "Goodnight, Faith."

"Night."


	2. Anger and Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy airs her concerns, Faith goes on a hunt, and Willow wallows in guilt.

Tara yawns as she starts to wake up, slowly opening her eyes as she feels weight on her chest and legs. Tara manages a small smile at the sight of Buffy snuggled into her. Somehow the blonde managed to lay her head on Tara's breast and throw one of her legs over both of Tara's. Sighing, Tara feels herself tear up again, remembering how they got into this situation. Lifting her head up some, Tara looks over at Faith, who has her face buried in the back of Buffy's neck and one arm wrapped around the other slayers torso. Buffy stretches slightly and Tara looks back down as the slayer wakes up.

Buffy looks up at Tara after she wakes. "I'm sorry." Tara frowns as Buffy starts to pull away.

"You can stay there, Sweetie." Tara assures her, stroking her hand through the small girl's hair.

Buffy hesitates. "A-are you sure? I don't want to crush you."

"You're too little to crush me. Especially right now." Tara frowns at the remembrance of Buffy's bones sticking out way farther then they should. Buffy closes her eyes as she settles back against Tara. She knows that there is going to be a lot of worry, explaining, and hard talks ahead of her, so she reveals in the comfort for a while.

"Who's breathing on my neck?" Buffy questions a little later, having an idea of who it is.

"That would be Faith." Tara confirms Buffy's suspicions. "We both decided to crash in here. Hope you don't mind." 

"I don't." Buffy whispers. "How badly have I screwed up?" Buffy starts to tear up. "How much does Dawn hate me?" Buffy thinks of her little sister.

"Didn't screw up, B." Faith mumbles as she wakes. "And munchkin doesn't hate you. She's worried sick and sad, but not mad." Faith shifts into a sitting position. "Sorry for molesting your back." Faith yawns as she stretches her arms above her head.

"It's okay." Buffy shifts up too, wincing at the soreness of her body. "I did it to Tara's front." Buffy shrugs. Faith cracks a small smile and tucks a piece of Buffy's hair behind her ear.

"Do you want to talk to us about what happened first, or at the same time as everyone else?" Faith inquires. Faith watches the girl as she sighs and starts fidgeting with her sleeves.

"I guess first." Buffy finally answers. "So I'll have you guys to help when I try to tell everyone else."

"Okay, sweetie." Tara puts her hand on top of Buffy's. "We know the main reason why you've been down, but why don't you tell us what made you decide to do that last night." Tara suggests. Buffy nods, and Tara smiles gently at her. "Whenever you're ready."

Buffy looks down as she tries to gather her thoughts. Talking to everyone about her problems does not sound like a good time to her, but she knows it's necessary. After her little show last night, she owes them an explanation. She's just glad Dawn wasn't there to see. Never in her life did she think that she would resort to suicide, but she just wanted it to be over. "When I was gone-" She begins. "you know where I was." Tara frowns at the tears filling the slayers eyes. "I left the happiest place I've ever been, and woke up in a coffin." She sniffles. "Every night, I either have a nightmare about waking up there again, or I dream of Heaven." Faith reaches out and grabs Buffy's hand, making Buffy send her a thankful smile. "Being here again is hard. Everyday something reminds me of what I lost." Buffy looks over at Tara. "I was so angry with you guys. I still am a little, and I hate that. I'm sorry, Tara."

"You are allowed to be angry with us. We are angry with ourselves. Anya and I, we tried to talk Willow out of it. There were so many risks. Willow told us that she was doing it with or without us." Tara shrugs. "We thought it would be safer for us to be there." She blinks her eyes fast, willing the tears to go away. "I'm sorry that we did that to you. But I feel selfish because I was so happy to see you."

"I think I've been more mad at Willow, then anybody else." Buffy shakes her head. "She knew better. She had to."

"I don't think she meant to hurt you." Faith tells her softly. "She might have known it was a bad idea, but I don't think hurting you was her intention."

"I know." Buffy nods. "It's still going to take some time to fully forgive it."

"I know." Faith agrees. "That's understandable."

"Last night, when I was on patrol, I ran into Spike." Buffy looks straight down at the bed. "After I was brought back, I ended up kissing him a couple times." Tara furrows her brow at the hurt that hit her, while Faith frowns and clenches one fist. "I don't even like him in that way. I just wanted to feel something. Last night, we argued about it. I told him that nothing was going to happen and-" Buffy lets out a small sob. "He hit me."

"I'll kill him." Faith growls loudly, seeing the same fire in Tara's eyes.

Buffy looks up at both of them and shakes her head. "He hit me, and his chip didn't fire." Her head drops into her hands as she cries harshly. Tara and Faith look at each other with wide eyes. "He told me-" Buffy continues after taking a shuddering breath. "that I came back wrong." Her head lifts so she can look at Tara. "What am I?" She asks with haunted eyes. "What's wrong with me?"

"Oh honey." Tara pulls Buffy to her, hugging her fiercely as both women cry. "There's nothing wrong with you." Tara places a kiss on Buffy's head. "Absolutely, nothing." Tara repeats.

"Why doesn't his chip work on me?" Buffy asks.

"I don't know sweetie." Tara frowns. "We need to make sure that it's still working on others, if it is, we will research the spell, okay?" Tara feels a slight nod against her chest.

"Whatever it is, B, I'm here. You are the bravest person I have ever met." Faith states, running a shaking hand through Buffy's hair. "I'll be back." The dark haired slayer quickly stands up and exits the room.

"I scared her." Buffy cries.

"Shhh, no you didn't." Tara soothes. "I think she is angry with Spike." They stay there for a while, with Buffy's head laying on Tara's chest, until Tara feels Buffy yawn. "Do you want to go back to sleep for a bit?" The witch whispers.

"Will you stay with me?" Buffy asks, blushing in embarrassment.

"I would love to." Tara presses another kiss on the blondes head and moves them to a laying position. It's only a few minutes until Buffy is out. "I'm going to help you." Tara whispers to the sleeping slayer, before joining the girl in slumber.

-

"I'm going to fucking kill that bastard." Faith growls as she stomps down the street. She feels her anger at an all time high after seeing the pain the blonde vampire caused. "She already had enough pain to deal with." She exclaims. After finding out where Buffy had been, Faith locked herself in her room and cried. She cried for the hurting her sister slayer was going through. Faith already knew she was going to hell, especially after the murders, so to think of Buffy going where she belongs, being happy, and have it all forcefully taken away from her, Faith can't think of anything that would be more painful. She marches into the Sunnydale Cemetery, her eyes focused on one particular crypt. Approaching it, she kicks the door as hard as she can.

Spike yelps from his place on the sarcophagus, quickly running to the corner away from the sunlight. "What the bloody hell?" Spike exclaims.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Faith screams, pushing him against the wall.

"Me? Your the one that waltz in here and damn well almost dusted me!" Faith sends a hard punch at his jaw. "Ow! What is your issue?" Spike yells, bringing his hands up to block his face from another hit.

"My issue is you beating on Buffy." Faith growls hitting him in the gut. "My issue is this bullshit you've been spewing at her." Another blow to the face. "My issue is you telling her she came back wrong."

"She did!" Spike argues, licking the blood coming out of his nose.

"She didn't!" Faith slams his head against the wall.

"My chip doesn't work on her!" Spike retorts.

"I know that." Faith feels her anger all through her body, making her tremble from it. "But you and I both know that nothing is wrong with her."

"Why do you even care?" Spike growls, in game face now. "Just a few years ago you would of happily murdered the bint." Spike licks his fangs.

Faith knees him as hard as she can in the balls, watching in satisfaction as he groans and tries to bring his hands over them. Faith catches his arms and pins them to the wall, enjoying his suffering. "I care because she tried to fucking kill herself last night!"

Spike goes still all at once. "What?"

"She slit her wrists, made multiple other cuts on her arms and legs, and took seven bottles of pills in the bathroom last night." Faith glowers at him. "Tara and I found her. She was covered in blood, screaming that she wanted to go back to Heaven, while she sobbed." Faith lets go of Spike and stares at her hands. "I can still feel her blood on me." Faith whispers.

"I didn't-"

"Shut up." Faith interrupts. "You've got a nice eight hours until sunset." Spike watches with wide eyes as Faith turns around and walks to the entrance of the crypt.

"What are you doing?" Spike inquires. Faith ignores him and grips the edge of the door. She grunts as she rips the door down, tossing it out into the graveyard. "You better watch it, bitch!"

"Why?" Faith questions walking over to the sarcophagus. "We both know that your chip is working." Faith lifts the stone lid of the sarcophagus and walks over to the hatch to get downstairs. "You would have attacked me already if it wasn't." Faith lays the slab of stone over the hatch and turns back towards Spike, dusting her hands off. "Take the eight hours that you're going to be stuck in that corner to reflect. Think about leaving town."

"This is my home. I'm not going anywhere." Spike growls lowly. He glares harshly at her as she meets his gaze.

"You're wrong about that." Faith grabs the stake out of her boot and points it at him. "This is Buffy's home. If she wants you to leave, I know multiple people who would jump at the chance to dust you."

"I-" Spike hesitates. "I didn't think she would do that. I didn't mean to cause that." He looks away from her, his hands shaking slightly.

"Yeah? Well that's what happens when you don't have a soul." Faith spits. "She was already in unimaginable pain and you went and doubled it." Faith shakes her head at him, her eyes dark with anger. "Have a nice time out."

Spike watches as she walks out, allowing himself to tremble more, shaking at what he'd done. "I didn't mean to." He whispers to himself. He leans back against the wall and drops his head in his hands, thinking about who he is. Thinking about making a change.

-

Buffy sits up suddenly, a noise shocking her from sleep. She looks over at Tara, the blonde Wiccan still sleeping peacefully. She lets a small smile slip on her face. Out of all of the scoobies, Tara is the only one that has never asked anything of her. Everyone always wanted her to do what they thought was best. She could never make everyone happy. Since Willow brought her back, it's been the same. Everybody expected her to snap back into the same Buffy as before. They acted like she could just shrug off where she'd been. Even when they thought she was in hell, they thought she should just get over it. It was very frustrating to deal with. She was stuck feeling like she wasn't good enough now. She's tarnished, soiled goods. Her own watcher even left her. The one man she trusted to always be there.

Buffy looks up as the door starts to slowly open. Faith slips through the crack and quietly closes the door before she notices Buffy. "Hey." Faith whispers. "Didn't know you were awake." Buffy studies Faith, taking notice of her shakiness, her clenched jaw, and her bloody hands. She sighs and moves out of the bed.

"Bathroom." She whispers. Faith nods and lets Buffy lead her across the hall. "Sit down." Faith takes her spot on the toilet and watches as her sister slayer pulls out the first aid kit. Buffy rips open a package with an alcohol wipe in it and crouches in front of Faith, grabbing her hands.

"I can do that, B." Faith protests. Buffy shakes her head and continues her task. Faith sits in silence as Buffy very gently cleans and wraps her knuckles. After she tapes the piece down she looks up at Faith, meeting stormy brown eyes.

"You went to see Spike." Buffy states, no question in her voice. Sometimes it still freaks her out that her and Buffy understood each other better than anyone. They've never taken the time to actually bond, yet Faith knows Buffy as much as she knows herself. She has wondered before if it was the shared power, but there really isn't anyway to research that. Before Buffy, two slayers never existed at the same time.

"I just got so angry." Faith admits. "He made you feel like you shouldn't be here. Out of the two of us, I'm the one who deserves that. Not you."

"You're doing so good Faith." Buffy squeezes her hand. "I'm so proud of you and I'm so glad you're here." Faith feels her heart swell from those words.

"Thank you for giving me another chance." Faith looks into Buffy's eyes, a little startled at the warmth the other girl is sending her way.

"No." Buffy shakes her head. "Thank you for giving me another chance." Buffy frowns as Faith stands up suddenly.

"No, Buffy." Faith runs her hands through her hair roughly. "I'm the one who fucked up. I killed people, tried to kill you!" Faith feels tears making their way into her eyes and she swallows harshly. "You tried your best."

"No. I didn't." Buffy tells her as she stands, wincing at the cuts she feels stretching. "I kept you at a distance. I never let you be a part of the group."

"That's bullshit!" Faith exclaims, raising her voice. "I was a bitch to you from the beginning. That's my fault."

"Dammit Faith!" Buffy slams her hands down on the sink. "I always found a way to keep you on the outside. Yeah, you were a little defensive at first, but you got dropped on your ass, by yourself, right after being called. That's understandable. What I was doing?" Buffy pokes herself in the chest. "That was pure cruelty." Buffy watches as Faith goes to open her mouth and cuts her off. "Plus, lets not forget that I FUCKING STABBED YOU!" Buffy throws her hands in the air.

"Only because I GAVE YOU NO CHOICE!" Faith screams back, the two slayers standing toe to toe, chests heaving.

"I was going to feed you to Angel." Buffy growls through her teeth. "It was one of the worst things I have ever done." Buffy admits, her chest feeling heavy at the thought of what she would have done.

"That's the worst?" Faith laughs harshly. "Try being a damn MURDERER!"

"Hey!" A voice comes from the door of the bathroom. Both slayers freeze and quit glaring at each other, instead turning to look at the doorway, where Tara is standing, her hand on her hip. "Both of you, bedroom. Now!" Tara orders. Faith and Buffy quickly go back to the room, neither of them ever having seen Tara take charge of anything.

Tara watches as they high-tail it to the bedroom, shaking her head at the ridiculousness of their fight. Tara had just woken up when their voices started to raise. She could feel the tension and anger building between them steadily. She jumped out of bed to put a stop to it then and there. Tara knows that they both made mistakes, but she also knows that both of them have a heart of gold. She suspects that since they are so alike it makes them clash, and was worried it was going to come to blows. Tara follows the two into the bedroom and shuts the door behind them.

"We are going to put an end to this fight quickly." Tara states sternly. "You have both made mistakes. Bad things happened. It's over now." Buffy and Faith look at Tara with guilty faces. "You don't want to cause another rift with an argument as stupid as this one. Right?" Two heads nod at her. "So this is what we are going to do. Simply take turns apologizing to each other, and decide to leave the past in the past. We have much bigger issues right now." The two slayers look at each other and sigh.

"Buffy, I am really sorry for everything I've done to you. In the past and in the present." Faith whispers to the blonde.

"I am sorry for everything I did as well, for the mistakes I have made. I don't want to fight anymore, Faith." Buffy smiles sadly. Faith nods and smiles back at her. "Could I possibly give you a hug?" Buffy questions, feeling shocked when Faith nods and opens her arms for her. Tara smiles as the two have their embrace, glad she was able to stop the fight before anything worse happened.

"Now we need to go downstairs and let everyone know that you two didn't kill each other." Tara flashes a crooked smile, making the other two smile back at her.

-

Dawn is the first one that jumps up when she sees the three women coming down the stairs. "Buffy!" She runs to her older sister and gathers her in a hug. "I'm so scared." Dawn whispers. "I don't want to lose you again." Dawn wipes at the tears that trail down her face. "God." She scoffs at herself. "I'm always so selfish."

"Shhh. It's okay Dawn." Buffy hugs her little sister close, running her hands through the girls beautiful, long hair. "If anything, I was selfish. I wasn't thinking about the people who needed me here. I just wanted my pain to go away." She kisses the top of Dawns head. "I didn't think of the pain I would cause. It's not going to be easy to keep going, but I promise I won't try that again." She pulls back to look into Dawns blue eyes and holds her pinky out.

"Okay." Dawn smiles sadly at her, hooking her own pinky with Buffy's. "I love you."

"I love you too, Dawnie." Dawn is pulled into a tight hug. "So much."

"Um, sorry to interrupt." Willow bites at her bottom lip. "I just wanted to let you all know that we are going to have a old fashioned scooby meeting."

"That's not going to be fun." Buffy sighs and leans her head on top of Dawn's.

"No." Tara agrees. "But it has to happen."

"Tara?" Willow gets her attention. "Did anybody tell her about Giles?"

"Giles?" Buffy's head snaps up. "What about Giles?"

"That would be a no then." The red head mumbles to herself. "He is flying in. He should be here in just a couple of hours, actually. We called him last night."

"Giles..." Buffy trails off. She stares towards the wall as she gets lost in her thoughts. She felt very confused about her relationship with her former watcher. They had gotten really close until senior year. His birthday betrayal poked a hole in her heart that has been growing since then. Freshman year of college, he didn't seem to want to be around her. The day she died, they had fought over Dawns fate, him voting to sacrifice her if need be. Then she came back, in more pain than shes ever been in, and he leaves as soon as he finds out that she wasn't in hell. "He's going to be so disappointed in me." Buffy hangs her head down.

"No." Willow shakes her head. "He blames himself. We all do." She looks at her feet. "Especially me."

"Willow?" Buffy waits until the red head looks up at her. "Can we go sit and have an honest conversation? I want to go ahead and clear the air." As soon as Willow agrees, they go into the living room and sit.

"Can I go first?" Willow fidgets with the bottom of her shirt. She looks up in time to see Buffy nod. "When you died, I- I didn't know what to do. You've been my best friend for five years, and no matter how dangerous your job was, I had this mind set that we would always win. That you would always be here. Then the next thing I know, I was watching your body slam onto the pavement." She sniffles, remembering the pain she felt that day. "My whole world turned upside down at that moment. I didn't know how to live in Sunnydale without you. I watched as everybody huddled around your body and cried. It was like somebody stole the light from the world." Buffy watches her friend's chin quiver and feels a pang of sympathy. "As those few months went by, everything kept getting harder. There were many close calls with vampires or demons. Even with the Buffy-bot, we were barely managing to stay alive."

That was a very accurate statement. If it wasn't for the bot and paying Spike, they would probably all be dead right now. It was a strain to have to keep fixing the bot and finding the money to give to Spike. Plus, taking care of a distraught Dawn and paying bills. All of them were very close to breaking down. It made Willow think more about how hard Buffy always had to work. Willow felt sorry for her. Yet, she was selfish and brought her back anyway.

"I don't think I ever really believed that you were in hell." Willow continues. "I was just scared and I missed my best friend. I was hoping that you wouldn't remember where you had been. I was selfish and I'll never do anything like that again." Willow looks up at Buffy. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to cause you so much pain." She cries, sobbing as the guilt works its way to the surface.

"I- I can't say that I forgive you." Buffy admits sadly. "I'm still angry about it. It still causes me a lot of pain. But I don't hate you." She grabs a pale hand in hers. "I just need to work through these feelings. Think about the happiest moment you've experienced and double it, that's what Heaven was like."

"I'm sorry." Willow cries dropping her head into Buffy's lap.

"I'm not saying this to try to hurt you. I just want to get everything out in the open. I'm going to have to try and heal. It's going to be painful, and to do it, I need to get everything out in the open." Buffy rubs the hacker on the back. "I do love you though, Wills. That won't change."


	3. Scooby Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giles returns, Buffy panics, and the group have a much needed meeting.

The next couple of hours after Buffy's talk with Willow were spent in an awkward silence. They were in the living room with the TV on, but Buffy was doubtful that anyone was paying a bit of attention. Dawn was snuggled against Buffy with her head on her chest. Buffy felt sorry for Dawn, and felt guilty for hurting her. She knew that her actions would hurt everybody, but she just didn't care at the time. All she wanted, was to see the sweet oblivion of death again. A hand squeezes her knee, at she looks up to see the comforting smile Tara is sending her way. It's almost as if she knew exactly what was going through Buffy's head.

Outside, a car door shuts, making Buffy and Faith look up. Faith looks over at Buffy's panicked face, knowing that her slayer hearing guaranteed that she heard it. "It will be okay, B." Faith assures softly. Tears gather in the blondes' eyes as she starts to shake her head frantically. Faith looks at Tara, trying to figure out what to do. She didn't spend a lot of time in her life comforting people. It still made her have the urge to run away from the others pain. But she knew she couldn't. This was Buffy. This, she actually cared about.

"Take a deep breath, sweetie." Tara urges, taking in Buffy's wide eyes. A knock sounds from the front door and no one has time to react before the blonde slayer jumps up and runs. Dawn startles awake at the loss of her pillow, just in time to hear the back door slam shut. The fifteen year old looks around at the other shocked women and sighs.

"Someone go after her!" Dawn finally exclaims shaking her head.

"Right." Faith nods. "I've got this." She takes off after Buffy as Willow opens the front door.

"Hello, Willow." Giles greets softly, pulling the girl in for a quick hug.

"Hey, Giles." She greets back. "There's been a little bit of a delay." Willow frowns. "Buffy panicked when she heard you arrive. She booked it out the door."

"Oh dear." Giles pulls his glasses off. "Are we going after her?" He asks finally.

"Faith's got it." Tara pipes in. "It's good to see you, Giles." She smiles warmly, but Giles can see the worry in the young woman's eyes, along with the love.

"Oh Tara, my dear. How are you?" The former librarian inquires, walking to give her a hug.

"I'm managing." Giles nods at the response.

"Do I get a hug, Dawn?" He turns to the youngest of the group. Dawn stares at him with many conflicting emotions crossing her face. He knows how upset she was when he left and, he cant really say he blames her. He was being a coward.

"You left us." Dawn states with watery blue eyes. "You're the closest thing to a father we had, and you left." She stares at him sternly, before she finally breaks and launches herself at him sobbing. "I'm so scared."

"As am I." Is Giles only response.

-

"Buffy!" Faith calls running down the street after her. Faith knows that people are probably looking out to see what the commotion is about, but she can't bring herself to care. She feels her legs burn as she pushes herself faster, trying to close the distance between her and her sister slayer. "Buffy, please!" She tries.

"Go away, Faith!" Buffy yells back to her, feeling herself starting to tire. No one ever told her how draining it was to run and cry at the same time.

"You know I cant do that." Faith calls back, her voice slightly closer now. Buffy rounds the corner into the park and finally slows to a stop. Faith walks up next to her, taking in the heaving of her chest. "You can do this." She encourages.

Buffy stands perfectly still for while, minus the trembling, just staring at the ground. Then an agonizing scream leaves Buffy's mouth and Faith watches as Buffy turns and starts punching a tree. Buffy feels tears streaming down her face as she rams her fist into the wood. Her mind becomes hazy, not really feeling it when her knuckles get busted open, when the blood starts flowing. Faith hears the crunch of a bone breaking, and she finally jumps into motion. Wrapping her arms firmly around Buffy's middle, she drags her away from the tree.

"Let go of me!" Buffy protests, squirming and trying to escape the tight hold.

"No." Faith stands her ground, not even wincing as Buffy elbows and kicks her. She just keeps a hold of her, waiting for the anger to leave. Faith has had so many fits just like this. She knows what to expect. True to her thoughts, after a few more minutes of struggling, Buffy grows limp in Faith's arms. "There you go, B." She lets the broken girl turn around and lean against Faiths front. Buffy closes her eyes and takes comfort in Faith's presence.

"I'm sorry." Buffy whispers, burying her face deeper in Faith's neck.

"It's not a problem." Faith comments. "We really do need to get back to the house though. We don't want to worry them anymore than necessary."

Buffy nods slightly and sighs. "Can you just give me a minute?" Buffy lifts her head and meets brown eyes. "I wore myself out. After last night, then this, I don't think I can walk home right now." She explains. Her whole body throbs. She can feel a few of the cuts from last night bleeding again, ripped open from her exertions. Her hand also bleeds, along with her not being able to move her fingers.

"Don't worry about that." Faith shakes her head, sweeping Buffy off her feet and carrying her bridal style. Buffy, on her part, doesn't protest. She just lays her head on Faith's shoulder and enjoys the calm silence. As Faith walks, the slight rocking motion with each step lulls her into an exhausted sleep.

Faith feels Buffy's breathing grow steady and silently thanks whatever higher power, for letting the girl have a few calm moments. Witnessing the panic attack made Faith wonder if that's what she used to look like. Filled with so much anger and pain. There were many times that she would let loose on the concrete wall of her cell. There for a few months, her knuckles were broken all the time. She would never let them heal. Walking back on the front porch of the house. Faith balances Buffy with one hand, reaching out to quietly open the door. Everybody rushes toward them when they hear the door.

"What happened?" Tara worries, noticing the blood on the girl. Her right hand was almost unrecognizable, and there were many spots of blood soaking through the long sleeves of her shirt.

"She had a panic attack." Faith explains softly. "Got in a fight with a tree."

"Dear lord." Giles whispers. "I'm so sorry for what we've done, my dear." He presses a kiss on his sleeping slayers head.

"Let's get her cleaned up." Tara suggests, starting to head up the stairs. Faith follows close behind, going back into the bathroom. "It's too soon to have to be doing this again." Tara shakes her head, voicing Faith's thoughts. The first aid kit is brought back out and Tara motions for Faith to sit.

"We're going to have to get this shirt off her." Faith muses, looking at the girl in her lap.

"We should probably wake her up." Tara places a hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Buffy? It's Tara. You need to wake up so we can fix you up, okay?"

"Ow." Buffy groans, burying herself deeper into Faith.

"You gotta sit up." Faith wiggles her shoulder, jostling Buffy's head.

"Fine." She pouts as she adjusts herself on Faith's lap. "You want me to get off you?"

"Nah." Faith shrugs. Tara smiles at the two of them and reaches for Buffy's hand.

"How many are broken?" The wiccan softly questions. Buffy tries to wiggle her fingers and winces.

"Three. Index, middle, and ring." She informs. Tara nods and gets to work. "Does Giles think I'm a basket case now?"

"Of course not." Tara assures. "He feels guilty. Just like everyone else."

"God, this is so embarrassing." Buffy exclaims. "We're about to have a group discussion about why Buffy went crazy and turned all slice-y dice-y."

"Stop that." Faith growls. "Nothing about this situation is embarrassing."

"Yes it is!" She turns to look at Faith. "I went full emo-girl."

"So..." Faith starts pulling the sleeve of her shirt up. "I should be deeply embarrassed of this?"

Buffy looks down at Faith's arm in shock. Covering the majority of her skin, are tons of little white scars. Right down the middle, running along the pulsing artery, is the most prominent scar of them all. "Faith.." Buffy breathes looking up at her. "I didn't know."

Faith shrugs and pulls her sleeve back down. "I know. Do you think I should be embarrassed?" She questions staring intensely into hazel eyes.

"No." Buffy whispers. "No." She repeats firmer. Her arm lifts and gently touches Faith's face. "You're so strong." She admits.

"And so are you." Faith points out. "You will get through this, B."

"Thank you." Buffy leans into her.

"You're all done." Tara packs the first aid kit back up. "Do anything to hurt yourself again, intentional or not, I'll kick your ass." Tara points at her, a sly smile on her face.

"Yes, ma'am." Buffy mock-salutes.

"Alright soldier, time to march into battle." Tara holds her hand out. Buffy takes a deep breath and nods, mentally preparing herself.

"Here goes nothing." Buffy mumbles.

-

"Hello, Buffy." Giles greets as Buffy walks into the room. Buffy looks down at her feet, blushing deeply.

"Are you disappointed in me?" She cautiously asks. It was better to go ahead and ask, than to always wonder.

"Buffy." Giles gasps. "Come here." He waves her over. She slowly walks toward him, fidgeting the whole way. As soon as she is close enough, Giles pulls her into a fierce hug. "I could never be disappointed in you. You have always won in the end, Buffy. You will this time too." He promises. "I won't ask for your forgiveness. I am not worthy of it." He pulls back and looks into sad eyes. "But I will tell you how sorry I am for not listening and leaving when you needed me most."

"Thank you." Buffy sadly smiles, knowing in her heart, that she doesn't forgive him yet. She turns around to face the living room and makes eye contact with Xander. "I didn't know you were here yet."

"Yeah, Anya and I joined the party while you were upstairs." He jokes. "It must be a big one. Even the British can't miss it."

Buffy giggles and holds her arms out. "Get over here, ya doof."

Xander raps her in a hug and kisses the top of her head. "I will be here for you in anyway I can. Even if that way is you wanting me to leave you alone." He tell her honestly.

"I'm not sending you away." Buffy shakes her head. "I'd miss you too much."

"Good." He nods.

"Okay." She pulls back. "Everybody grab a seat and we can talk about this." She waits as everyone settles back down. "I've been thinking, and I want to do this the right way. I want to be honest, and I want you all to be, too." At everybody's nods, she sits in between Faith and Tara. "Okay. Before we get into story time, I need to tell you all individually how I'm feeling about you. I've already told Willow, but for fairness I'll do it again."

"It's okay, Buffy." Willow assures. "It's good for everyone to hear."

"Okay." Buffy nods. "Willow, I have never been so upset with you, before this. You knew the chances you were taking, and you knew where I could have been. You were selfish, and it's going to take a while for me to fully forgive you."

"I know. I can barely stand myself right now." Willow admits.

"But, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to want to spend time with you. In order for me to forgive you, I'm going to need your support and friendship. I want you to help bring me back to life mentally." Buffy finishes. She frowns at the tears in Willow's eyes but knows that this is the right thing to do.

"I love you, Buffy." The red head sniffles.

"I love you too. Always." She assures. Feeling emotional from the intensity in the room, Buffy quickly stands up and hugs Willow to her.

"I'm sorry." Willow sobs again.

"I know." Buffy whispers, a few tears falling from her eyes. They hug for a few more seconds, then move back to their seats. "Xander." Buffy gets his attention. "You ready?"

"No." He admits. "But I never will be."

"I have to ask, did you know all the risks of the spell?" She inquires.

"At first, no." He shakes his head. "But I did when we did it. Tara and Anya tried to talk sense into us, but I was solely focused on what it would feel like to have my best friend back. Never did I think I would cause so much pain."

"That's the thing, Xander. You didn't take the time to sit and think about what would happen if something went wrong. I could have come back without a soul, for all you knew. Do you think you all could have standed a chance against me if I decided to kill you?"

"I know we wouldn't. And we would have deserved it." Xander states sadly.

"I'm going to say the same thing to you, as I did to Willow. I haven't forgiven you, but I need you to be here for me. Then, one day it will happen." She finishes.

"I'm always here. I love you." He smiles.

"I love you too." She returns. "Giles." Her voice grows small.

"It's okay, my dear. Let it out." He urges her.

"You didn't know about what they were doing, so that's not on you. But when you found out where I had been, you left." Buffy's voice breaks a little and she blinks rapidly against the tears forming. "I begged you not to go. I told you I needed you, that I couldn't take it. But you left anyway." The tears start to fall. "It was worse than when my dad walked out on me. I didn't know what to do, it just hurt so much. And I'm still so angry and..." Buffy stands up suddenly and sobs. "I can't do this. Tara? Will you tell them about last night? I need a minute." She doesn't wait for a response before running up the stairs.

"Should I?" Giles gestures up the stairs.

"No." Faith shakes her head. "Just give her a minute. She's crying, but that's all. No other noises."

"Well." Tara starts. "Let me tell you what happened on Buffy's patrol last night."


	4. Repairing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang works on repairing their relationship.

"Spike can hit her?" Giles furrows his brows. "She said nothing from the chip activated? Not even a little?"

"Nothing." Tara confirms. "Faith went over there and ended up knocking him around a little. He never tried to hit back."

"So it's still working." Giles muses. "Could it just be a side effect of her being dead? Maybe something changed biologically that confuses the chip."

"It could be that simple." Tara nods. "But we can't just give Buffy a maybe. She's not going to be able to feel comforted by a maybe."

"Is there anything you could do magically?" Xander asks. "And am I allowed to go for round two of punch the peroxide freak?" Xander looks down at the still shaking hands

"I'll join." Willow offers.

"Me too." Dawn growls. "How could he do that to her? Isn't he supposed to love her? It doesn't make sense." Dawn remembers all the time she spent with Spike while Buffy was gone, how much fun they had. He was always nice to her and defended her. She forgot what he was because she honestly thought he had changed.

"He very well might, in his own way." Giles tells Dawn. "A demon can love, but it's a more possessive love. Violence is very normal in vampire relationships, it comes naturally to demons. Souls love differently."

"Back to my question, magic?" Xander looks to Willow.

"It could be possible." Willow looks over to Tara. "Have you ever done a mystic reading?"

Tara shakes her head. "No. I've read about them though."

"What is it?" Dawn questions.

"Buffy is the slayer, therefore she is considered a mystic being. As are you. The reading brings whoever is doing the spell into the persons mystic power and energy." Willow tries to explain.

"It's like there are two parts of Buffy. Normal human and mystical being. If you tap into the mystical side, it will sometimes tell you a story. It might help to see if that side has changed something in her." Tara helps Willow.

"Lets do it." Everyone's eyes snap to the slayer coming down the stairs. "I'll try anything." Buffy comes fully in the room and walks up to Giles.

"I'm truly sorry, Buffy." Giles apologizes with haunted eyes.

"I know." Buffy whispers. "I wanna try to get past it, if you do."

"Of course." Giles brings his slayer into his arms, hugging tightly for a few seconds. Everyone else in the room looks at the two with smiles on their faces. No matter what has happened throughout the years, they are still a big family.

"So Tara, can you perform this spell?" Buffy inquires as she pulls away from Giles.

"I should be able to." Tara stands and grabs Buffy's hands, making eye contact. "I have two conditions." Buffy nods. "One, I want to research it more and make sure I know exactly what I'm doing. Two, I'm doing anything until you are psychically healed."

"I can do that." Buffy gives her a small smile.

"I can help research if you want, Tara." Willow shyly smiles at the blonde witch, hoping they can build a friendship.

Blue eyes make eye contact with her. "I'd love that." Tara smiles.

"Willow, I'd like to research the spell you used to bring her back, if you don't mind. Do you still have the original spell?" Giles asks, needing to feel useful. Willow nods. "I just want to make sure we aren't over looking anything." He worries that he'll offend the redhead, knowing how defensive she has been in the past over her magic. It was always her way or no way.

"I understand." Willow assures him.

"I'll take over patrol for this week. Give you time to rest and heal." Faith tells Buffy. "And before you protest, that's not an offer. That's what I'm doing." She quickly says as Buffy's mouth starts to open.

"Bitch." Buffy mutters. Suddenly a hand smacking her on the ass makes her yelp. "Tara!" She gasps looking in mischievous eyes.

"Apologize." Tara points to Faith, making amused eye contact with the dark haired slayer.

"Sorry." Buffy grumbles, her face blushing and her hand rubbing her butt. "That actually kind of hurt."

"Good." Tara laughs.

"This is enjoyable." Faith comments leaning back against the couch. "I don't think I've ever seen you that red before, B." She teases laughing.

"You want one too?" Tara quirks her eyebrow at the Boston girl, giggling when Faith immediately shuts her mouth.

"When did you become so...take charge?" Xander balks at Tara.

"She always has been." Willow whispers to him.

"To the people I know." Tara agrees.

"Dare I say that was more effective than any authority I have ever used on either of them." Giles jokes.

"Can we move on?" Buffy blurts out, her entire face red at this point. A part of her wonders where this side of Tara has been; but if Willow's comment was anything to go by, it's always been there. Maybe she just hasn't paid much attention to Tara lately. Heck, she's been so caught up in her life that she hasn't paid much attention to anybody. She swallows heavily at the feeling of shame.

"So, Willow and I will research the reading spell." Tara nods.

"I'll research the Resurrection spell." Giles adds.

"I'll take over patrol." Faith gives Buffy a half smile, which she returns.

"What should the rest of us do?" Dawn questions, moving herself to lay her head on her sister's shoulder.

"I can fix the bathroom door and join Faith on patrol if she wants the help." Xander offers nervously. His history with Faith was complicated. He can see now that she has changed, but he still can't help feeling a bit intimidated by her.

"That'd be great Xan-Man. Squeeze it between your work schedule so you won't be too tired." The dark haired slayer tries to give him a reassuring smile.

"Anything you need for the spell, you can have for free from the shop." Anya speaks up. "That's if it's okay with Giles." She hesitates. Seeing Giles nod at her she brightly smiles. "Just let me know what you need."

"I'm feeling useless here." Dawn admits quietly. "I don't have anything I can do to help." She's pretty used to the feeling. It makes you feel unimportant when everyone around you has a super-power or strength in something. She's just the defenseless little sister that caused her big sister to die. Sometimes she can't help but to feel like she's the cause of Buffy's misery.

"Why don't you keep me company while everybody's busy?" Buffy asks after reading the look on her sister's face. "Maybe we can watch movies and eat ice cream or something." She pushes the dark locks of hair out of the younger girl's face. "I would love some sister time." She smiles.

"Really?" Dawn beams. "Awesome! We haven't done that in forever." Her eyes light up in that way that makes Buffy's heart swell with love.

"I know." She wraps her little sister in a hug. "I'm very sorry for that." She presses a kiss against her head. "I'm very sorry for ignoring all of you." Buffy faces the group. "No matter what happened, we're family. I let myself forget that." She sniffles. "Thank you all for all the work you're putting in to help."

"Anything for the Buffster." Xander shrugs.

"I think it's group hug time." Willow exclaims jumping up. All at once Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Xander, Tara, Anya, Giles, and even Faith fall into an embrace. At that moment, Buffy feels the weight of her life lift just a little.

-

"I think Hecate is our best bet." Willow muses. Her and Tara sit with many books surrounding them, looking for the safest spell to perform.

"I always get nervous working with Hecate." Tara admits. Hecate was known to be a karmic goddess. She doesn't let you get away with anything. You can't avoid any bad consequences for you're actions.

"I understand that." Willow lays her hand on Tara's arm. "But Tara, you are the kindest soul I have ever met. You don't have any selfish reason to do this. You want to help. There's no punishment for that." Willow looks deeply at her.

"Thank you." Tara grins. "I just hope I do this right."

"We will." Willow smiles. "I'll do everything with you, other than the actual spell part."

"Okay. She is the Goddess of the gateway between worlds, the Goddess of beginnings and endings and all transformations from one state to the other." Tara reads.

"Yes, which is why we need her. Buffy moved between worlds, she's had two endings and three beginnings. She can help us read the transformation done. We will understand exactly what happened when Buffy came back." The red-head explains.

"That makes sense." The blonde Wiccan nods. "So she is associated with a cauldron and key for tools."

"Yes." Willow confirms. "One of her confirmed plants is mandrake."

"Anya can give us that." Tara informs. "Night time would be the best time to invoke her."

"I think an onyx stone would be best, along with black candles."

"Dragons blood incense."

"Garlic, bread, and cake for edible offerings."

"A chalice with wine."

"I think we've got what we need down." Willow states gleefully.

"Thank you for helping me with this Willow." Tara lays her hand on Willow's knee.

"Thank you for letting me." Willow blushes. "I know I haven't been very trustful with the magicky stuff. I really am trying though."

"I know you are." The blonde squeezes the redhead's knee before pulling back and grinning. "That's why I have an offer for you."

"You do?" Willow furrows her brow.

"Yes. If you are interested, after all this stuff with Buffy is done, I would like to give you magic lessons." Tara holds her hand up, telling the other girl to wait. "I know that you're already more powerful than me, but that's not what this is about. It's about pulling the magic from the earth and yourself. It is a lot less dangerous. Less black magic."

"How would it work?" Willow inquires, already considering it. She can't help but think about how amazing it would feel to do magic again. It will feel even better to do it and not have to worry about the darkness creeping in.

"Basically we'd start from the beginning. Do simple meditations and spells, then work our way up from there." Tara explains. She watches as the red head obviously goes into deep thought. Silently, Tara hopes that Willow takes her up on this. Willow doesn't know what will happen if she doesn't get a better hold on this. If she doesn't purge the black magic, it will take over. It's almost like becoming a vampire, the thing that rises wouldn't be Willow anymore.

"I think it's a good idea." Willow finally whispers. "I want to be able to do magic and help people without worrying about losing control and hurting instead."

Tara sends her a sympathetic smile. "Then that's what we'll do."

-

"How's school been?" Buffy inquires as she scoops another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. It's heavenly. Ice cream should seriously be given out in therapy sessions.

"It's been okay." Dawn shrugs, smiling at the drip of melted ice cream running down her sister's chin. "Everyone still thinks I'm weird, but I'm use to it."

"They can tell you're special." Buffy smiles. "The same thing happened to me when I first came to Sunnydale."

"Everyone has heard about how weird my life is. Especially with the whole Hell God thing going on." Dawn thinks back on the days where she was a total mess, worrying that at any minute Glory was going to come take her away.

"I'm sorry that you got stuck with me." Buffy frowns. "I used to spend everyday wishing that I could just be a normal girl."

"But I'm not sorry." The younger girl states. "I have a family that would risk everything to keep me safe." She reaches across the table to grab her sister's hand. "I have a sister that already did."

"I would do it all over again for you." The blonde squeezes the hand in hers. "Even if I knew without a doubt that I was going to hell for eternity." Blue and green eyes connect. "I would do it."

Dawn's eyes fill up with tears as she stands up to go to her sister's side. "I know." She whispers as she sits herself in her sister's lap. People in the ice cream shop look at them weird, but Dawn doesn't care. She thought she would never see Buffy again. Her only comfort during that time was that Buffy did it for her, no one else. She didn't care about the world at that moment. Dawn was the only thing on her mind. It was the most amazing thing anyone's done for her.

But both of them are here now. It's far from perfect but, right now, it's enough.

-  
"Well that's weird." Giles mumbles as he reads. "The champion of light is born anew, the champion of dark comes back too, they join together with the peaceful mind, one sole mission to save man-kind."

Giles removes his glasses and tries to think. It would make sense for the champion of light to be Buffy. She died fighting this cause and was reborn months after. It's the champion of dark that is confusing. If it comes back too, then it has to be someone dead. The master maybe? Or even Glory? It could be someone Buffy hasn't even faced before. Someone who died by someone else's hands.

Why would a champion of dark want to save mankind? They are usually the ones trying to end it. How would Buffy know to trust this person? Every time she makes one bad call, more lives are lost. She can't handle that right now. She is in such a fragile state. It just makes him glad Faith is here to take over for a while. The younger slayer has proven herself over the last few months from what he's been told.

He was supprised at how quick the group let her back in. Though he probably shouldn't be. Those kids are good ones. Even Xander, no matter how stupid some of his choices are. Willow has claimed to be building a friendship with Faith. As well as Xander. More than likely that is what Faith needs more than anything. Tara saw good in her. Tara seems to always see the things no one else does. She's a remarkable girl.

He remembers being mad when Buffy told him what went down between Willow and Tara. Tara loved her so completely and trusted her with every ounce of herself. The poor blonde had already been through enough with her family, then Glory, and yet Willow took a piece of her too. He wonders if Tara realizes what will happen to Willow if her power continues to build in her. If Willow lost control, they wouldn't be able to stop her.

It feels unbelievable that this is the same Willow as the one in overalls and pig tails. All of the kids have grown up so fast. They've all had so many struggles through the past six years. Part of him wishes they could have stayed those little teenagers worried about math class and dates just as much as the world. Now they realize that their personal lives have to take the back seat every now and then. He knows how that harsh reality feels.

This prophecy will only cause more stress for Buffy. The last prophecy about her ended in death. There is no way he is telling anyone about it until he researches further and knows for sure that it's about her.

-

"Thanks for going on patrol with me Xan-man." Faith bumps her hip into him as they walk through Rest-field.

"Of course! I'd never miss an opportunity to terrify myself." Xander jokes.

"If you're still that scared by now, you might need a new hobby." Faith laughs.

"But then I won't get that nice Adrenalin rush and the 'I think I'm going to pee myself' feeling." He stops laughing as Faith puts her arm infront of him. "Company?"

"Somewhere." Faith frowns looking around. "My senses aren't as good as B's. I can't tell which direction." She closes her eyes trying to pin point the location of the vampire, growling when she can't.

"Hang on." Xander whispers. "Get ready to save me."

"Wha-" Faith is cut off when Xander starts walking across the cemetery, whistling as he goes. "Damn idiot." Faith watches Xander as he sits on a tombstone looking around casually. Faith takes off as soon as she sees a dark figure running. Xander looks over and grunts as the vampire slams into him, knocking him to the ground. He scrambles to kick the vampire off him but is quickly pinned down by the stronger demon.

"Why didn't I wear a cross?" Xander grumbles to himself as the vamp leans towards his neck. He shuts his eyes and prepares for the bite.

"Because you're a fucking idiot." Faith answers his previous question as she grabs the vampires neck and tosses him off of Xander. She immediately turns around preparing for the vamp to rush her. As expected he starts running towards her, she sidesteps him and lands a kick to the back of his knees, knocking him to the ground. She jumps on top of him and he lands a quick punch to her nose. She takes the next shot to his face and keeps going blocking him until she sees an opening. She quickly stakes him, jumping up so she doesn't get any dust on her clothes.

"Guess that means no puncture wounds for me." Xander quips as he stands up. His eyes grow wide as Faith whips her head around to face him.

"You think that shit was funny?" Faith yells at him. She starts pacing back and forth with her hands on her head. "You could of died!" She continues. "Do you know who they would blame? God, I can't watch someone else I care about die. I cant!" She kicks a tree truck and watched as a huge crack appears down the middle.

"Faith!" Xander calls grabbing her arms. "You care about me?" He questions hesitantly. Faith starts calming her breathing as she looks at him.

"Well...yeah." She blushes. "I think of you as a friend, ya know? Even if you don't see me that way." She looks down at her feet kicking the ground.

"You are my friend, Faith." Xander informs her smiling.

"Good. Well, sorry for yelling at you." She shrugs. "I don't panic well."

"Don't worry about it. Buffy would seriously be kicking my ass right now." Xander laughs. Faith smiles mischievously and starts walking.

"Maybe I should tell her." Faith grins over her shoulder.

"No! Please don't...Faith?......Faith!"


	5. Nightmares

"Hey!" Buffy greets from the couch as Xander and Faith walk in. "How was patrol?"

Xander looks at Faith with wide begging eyes. Faith grins at him. "It was good, B." Faith snickers at the look of relief on the boys face. "How have things been here?" Faith plops down on the other side of Buffy.

"It's been great!" Dawn exclaims happily. "We went out for ice cream then came back and watched movies."

"What movie?" Faith asks. The smile on Dawn's face is contagious. The younger girl was so happy to spend time with her sister.

"Dawn wanted to see Fight Club, so we rented it." Buffy runs her hand through Dawn's hair as she talks.

"Brad Pitt." Faith nodded. "Always a plus."

"Did Buffy make fun of the fighting like she always does?" Xander sits on the other side of Dawn.

"Hey! I just point out how staged it is. It doesn't look even slightly believable." Buffy throws her hands in the air, making Dawn giggle.

"It is to anyone that doesn't have six years of slayer-ism in them." Xander points out. At Faith and Dawn's 'true', Buffy pouts and looks back at the screen. The three of them sit and watch the rest of the movie in relative silence. Buffy and Faith arguing over which actor fights the best. The credits start to roll and Buffy turns to see Dawn yawn.

"Why don't you go up to bed?" Buffy suggests softly to her sister.

"I probably should. It's way past my bedtime." Dawn turns and hugs her sister tightly. "Thank you for today, Buffy."

"Thank you too." Buffy whispers pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I love you. I'll see you in the morning."

"I love you too. Night guys!" Dawn waves at them and bounds up the stairs.

"I've been a terrible sister." The blonde slayer whispers, tears starting to fall. Xander and Faith scoot closer to her and wrap her in a hug.

"You can't keep blaming yourself. You've been going through so much." Xander reasons.

"That's no excuse!" Buffy shakes her head. "She was so happy today because I havent taken time out to spend with her since before I died."

"Buffy, I'm going to kick your ass. Dawn understands what happened. All she cares about is you being okay. She would pitch a fit if she knew you were down here blaming yourself for everything." Faith moves her head to catch Buffy's eyes. "Don't ruin your good day, okay?"

"Okay." Buffy nods, wiping the tears from her face.

-

Faith wakes up suddenly, yawning and rubbing at her eyes. Looking over at the clock she frowns at it. It's four in the morning. Why is she awake? She looks around the room again and shrugs, starting to lay down again. Before she can close her eyes, a loud cry echoes through the house. Faith jumps up and tugs her sleep pants on, taking off up the stairs. As she gets closer she can hear voices.

"Willow! She won't wake up!" Dawn's worried voice reaches her.

"I know, but we can't go in there. With the way she's thrashing she would hurt one of us on accident." Willow explains in a pitched, panicked voice. "We can't make her feel any worse."

"So we just let her experience whatever bad thing she's dreaming about?" Dawn yells, obviously upset with Willow.

"No, we don't." Faith announces her arrival. "I've got this guys. If she hits me, I'm strong enough to take it."

"Thank you." Dawn wraps her skinny arms around Faith. Faith manages to smile down at the younger girl, having to admit that she had grown on her. She figured out that all of Dawn's whining and attitude was a mask. If it got really bad, then something else was causing her much bigger problems. Like when she was stealing recently. Buffy had come back and wasn't happy, so Dawn was worried, so she found an outlet. None of the scoobies were ever really there for her, all of them wrapped up in their own issues.

"No problem, little D." Faith walks in the room slowly. Buffy's arms are waving violently in the air, her legs kicking non-stop, and her head thrashing side to side. Her cries are loud, mostly things she can't interpret, along with many shouts of 'no'. Faith takes a deep breath and purposely struts to the bed. She winces as limbs smack into her but does not let it stop her. "Buffy." Faith calls softly. One of the blonde slayers arms come up and connects with her nose. "Okay. Ow." The brunette mutters.

"She didn't mean to!" Dawn calls from the hallway.

"I know. I'm not mad. Promise." Faith responds. She watches the older slayer for a minute before quickly straddling the thrashing girl. "Buffy, wake up." She calls. Somehow she manages to grab two tiny wrists and watches amazed as the girl settles down into a soothing sleep.

"That's weird." Willow comments stepping in the room.

"Yeah, she didn't even wake up." Dawn muses. Faith looks down at the troubled girls face, noticing that it is mostly relaxed now.

"I don't want to disturb her by getting up." She informs the other two. "I'm just going to sleep in here tonight." Out of the corner of her eye Faith witnesses Buffy's cheeks turn a slight shade of pink. Okay, so much for that soothing sleep. "You guys go back to bed, I know you're tired."

"Okay." Dawn yawns. "Night."

"If you need me let me know." Willow whispers. "Goodnight." The sound of bare feet walking through the house stops after two door softly close.

"They're gone, B." The tiny blondes face crumples as she sniffs, obviously trying to not cry. "Do you want to talk about the dream you had?" Faith looks around, not knowing what to do. So she fidgets with her cross necklace.

"I just don't understand." Green eyes blink up at Faith. "When you and Tara were with me I didn't have any nightmares. Tonight, I went to sleep and woke up in my coffin." Small hands hide the tears that she couldn't quite manage to hold back. "I'm so tired, Faith."

"I know." Faith frowns. "I need to run downstairs, do you want some tea, water, juice, anything?" She offers.

"Do you know how to make hot chocolate?" Buffy looks at her hopefully.

"One cup of hot chocolate coming up." The younger girl smiles and creeps out of the room, not wanting to disturb the others again. After putting some water on the stove to heat, she walks over to the phone in the kitchen, dialing the number she was given yesterday.

"Hello?" A groggy voice mumbles into the phone.

"Tara, hey. I'm sorry to have to wake you." Her lip disappears between her teeth as she thinks about the Wiccan all curled up in bed.

"Faith?" The voice comes through more alert. "What's wrong?" Her tone gives away her concern.

"It's probably stupid for me to call for this, but..."

"Faith, you can call whenever you want." The silky voice assures her. "If it's worrying you, it's not stupid."

"It's just, Buffy had a nightmare. A bad one." Faith glances up to make sure she doesn't hear any movement from upstairs. "She was screaming, crying, hitting, kicking..." The Boston girl's voice breaks a little. "It scared me."

"Is she awake now?"

"Yeah. I called because she mentioned something." God, it sounds so weird for her to call and ask for her to cuddle with the two of them. "She said that the night we slept in the bed with her, she didn't have any nightmares. I think it was the only day since she was brought back that she didn't have one."

"I'll be there in ten minutes." Faith sighs in relief. Why she was so worried about this call, she will never know.

"Thank you."

-

Tara arrives at the Summer's house as fast as she could. Hearing Faith so worried on the phone had made the same happen to her. Not that she wasn't already worried. If you looked at Buffy you could automatically tell that she hasn't been sleeping well. The dark circles around her eyes are extremely prominent. Tara unlocks the front door quietly, thankful that she still has a key. The blonde creeps upstairs as quietly as she can. The last thing she needs right now is for Willow or Dawn to walk out. Yes, she'll have to deal with it in the morning, but that can wait until then.

She slowly opens the door to the bedroom, smiling at the sight of Buffy's head resting on Faith's shoulder as she drinks out of a mug. Hazel eyes lock with hers as the slayer notices her presence. "Tara..." She trails off.

"Hey Buffy." Tara smiles. "Heard you're not sleeping well." Faith grunts as the blonde beside her punches her in the arm.

"Faith!" She exclaims. "You called her?"

"Do you not want me here?" The Wiccan raises her eyebrow at the smaller blonde.

"Of course I want you here." A sigh leaves the troubled girl. "I just hate that she woke you up because of me." Eye's pointing downwards, Buffy frowns. Tara struts to the bed and climbs in on the other side of the stubborn girl.

"I want to be here." Their eyes connect again. "Who wouldn't want to cuddle with two hot women?" Tara smirks. Both slayers look at each other with red faces. Oh, that was too easy. "You tired, Buffy?" The drawn out yawn after that questions makes her chuckle. "Guess so." The three of them simultaneously shuffle down to a laying position, pulling the covers up over them.

"Thank you for being here." Buffy's voice comes out small.

"Where else would we be?" Tara grins. "Come on, cuddle time."

-

Willow swallows harshly from outside the bedroom door. Tara is there, in Buffy's bed, with Buffy, and Faith. She knows that Tara is just being helpful, but she can't help but feel hurt. Mainly because Tara is flirting. Like how she used to flirt with her. 'She's not coming back to me.' Willow thinks to herself. 'She should be happy. Even if it will hurt me.' The redhead sighs and quietly makes her way back to her own room.

-

"Do you think Buffy will be okay?" Xander asks Anya as they lay in bed together.

"I dont know." Anya tells him honestly. "I feel like if she has the right motivations she could."

"I should of listened to you." Xander sniffs. "I'm so stupid."

"Even if you had listened, Willow wouldn't." Anya tries to comfort her fiance. "All things considered, she came back a lot better than she could have."

"I just wish she could be happy." Xander runs his hands over his face. "She never gets to be happy."

"Then we will try our best to make that happen." Anya pulls his head onto her shoulder. "I know you're fighting back tears." She frowns at the pain everyone is going through right now. It surprises her sometimes that she cares so much. She cares for all of them. "You don't have to hold back with me. If you need to cry, then cry." She presses a kiss to his head as quiet sobs rack through his body.

"She's always had to be the strong one." His voice comes out scratchy, like he hadn't talked in days. "She picks all of us up when we're down, and we don't even do the same for her."

"That's one thing we can change." Anya runs her fingers through the silky hair on Xander's head. "We need to show her that we can be there for her too."

"I love you." Xander whispers. "I don't think I say it often enough."

"I love you too."

-

Dawn lays awake in her bed with a million thoughts running through her head. They told her not to cause Buffy any trouble, and Dawn listened. It was just that the day before, she had gone on a shopping spree, minus actually buying anything. Now there is a bag of stolen stuff in her closet that she doesn't know what to do with. Will it stress Buffy if she tells them the truth? Would it stress her more if she found out on her own? Realizing that she isn't going to be able to sleep yet, she decides to talk to Willow.

Her bare feet pad across the wood floor as she goes down the hall. When she reaches the door to Willow's room, she see's that the red head is awake as well. A spell book balances on the hacker's knee as she stares intently at it. Multiple pages are read and the youngest Summers girl can see frustration on Willow's face. "Um...Aren't you supposed to not do magic?" Dawn finally inquires quietly.

The red head gives her a reassuring smile and pats the spot next to her on the bed. "I'm not. Come here, Dawnie." The slender brunette climbs in next to Willow. "These are beginners spells. Tara offered to help me learn magic the right way."

"So you're starting over?" Dawn tilts her head.

"Yep. Most of my magic was influenced by the hell mouth, it was dark." Flipping to the front of the book, Willow points at it. "This will teach me earth magic, which is white."

"It'll be safer?" Dawn's blue eyes shine with hope.

"A lot safer." Willow confirms. A pang hits Willow hard as she see's the look on the young girls face. "I know that I did a lot of hurtful things. I want to make it better."

"Then you will." Dawn grins and hugs Willow hard. Pulling away Dawn remembers why she's here and frowns.

"What wrong, Dawnie?" A pale hand cups Dawn's face, green eyes meeting blue.

"I did something a few days ago...and I don't know how to fix it." The former key looks down at her lap. Her nervous habbit kicks in, leading to her picking the skin off her fingers.

A frown etches itself on the Wiccan's face as she grabs the girls hand to still her picking. "You can tell me. I'll help anyway I can." She tries to soothe.

"The other day I was upset." She starts to explain. "I went to the mall and I just started taking stuff." A tear falls down her porcelain face. "I don't even know why I did it." Scoffing, Dawn wipes the tear away. "But now I have a bag of stolen goods in my room and I don't know what to do!"

"Oh, Dawnie." Willow sighs and cradles the crying girl to her.

"Why am I such a bad person?" She exclaims. She startles as the red head grabs her by the arms and looks her in the eyes.

"You're not." She states fiercely. "You're fifteen years old. You're going to make mistakes."

"I feel like I should tell Buffy, but I don't want to upset her more." Dawn explains. "That's why I came to you."

"Okay. Tomorrow, you and I are going to the mall to take back all of that stuff." Willow tells her, wearing her famous 'resolved' face.

"That's so embarrassing." Dawn groans, flopping face first on the bed.

"Good." Willow giggles. "Then you won't do it again." She runs her hand through dark brown hair as she looks at the clock. "Ugh. It's already five thirty. You wanna climb under the covers and get a little more sleep with me?"

"That sounds awesome." Dawn answers yawning.

-

"I want to say something to both of you." Buffy voices after they all wake. Tara and Faith look at each other with concerned eyes. "I just wanted to apologize to you guys."

"There's nothing to be sorry for, sweetie." The Wiccan runs her hands through Buffy's hair.

"No, there is." The small blonde grabs their hands. "When both of you first came into the picture, I didn't try to take time to get to know you."

"Buffy, you accepted me into the group and made me feel like I was a part of a family for once. That had such a big impact on me." Tara's blue eyes show how sincere she is. Buffy can't help but notice how gorgeous they are.

"I know, but did I ever take the time out to really talk to you? Like how I talked to Willow, Xander, and Giles?" Buffy watches the sadness cross the blondes face.

"I don't blame you for not trusting me. I was new." Tara shrugs.

"Tara, I started trusting Will and Xander from the day that I met them. I just didn't feel the need to try with you. You've been around for over two years now. I still don't know much about you." Buffy plays with the fingers entwined with hers. "I want to get to know you. I need you to accept my apology first." Tara blinks the tears away, Buffy's words meaning more than she could express.

She always did feel like an outsider. She didn't blame any of them for it. Tara would feel hesitant if someone was thrown into the group too. She never tried to tell them about herself. Choosing to stay quiet and on the sidelines instead. She does have to admit that Buffy does have a point. She didn't make much of an effort, but neither did they. The smaller blonde's honesty and affection makes Tara's heart swell. "Of course I accept your apology." When she sees the happiness in hazel eyes, all she can think about is wanting to see that look everyday.

"Thank you." Buffy hugs Tara tightly, feeling much lighter.

"B, we already apologized." Faith states frowning.

"I know. But I think it's important to confirm that we accept that. I want to move forward, because I love having you here." Buffy explains.

"I love being here. I accept your apology, if you accept mine." Faith states bashfully.

"It's accepted." Buffy smiles. "Okay guys, new start!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone actually reading this story? Please let me know!


	6. Unexpected Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They group performs a spell to figure out why Spike's chip doesn't register Buffy as human. The results are shocking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late post!!! I've had to have 2 surgeries in the past 2 weeks and am having another procedure tomorrow (which is my 21st birthday, funnily enough). I hope you like the story! I'm still working on more! There is an elaborate plot that I am trying to work out. Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter! I have been excited to release this because I'm proud of my (maybe crappy) creativity. Thank you for reading!!!

"I call this Scooby meeting to order!" Xander exclaims dramatically, flopping back onto the couch. Xander, Anya, and Willow sit on the couch, Giles in a chair, and Faith, Tara, Dawn, and Buffy lounging on the floor.

"I really need to get another couch." Buffy muses, making everyone laugh.

"The group has definitely grown over the years." Willow nods.

"We have seemed to doubled in size." Giles agrees.

"I'm included now." Dawn smiles. "That's cool."

"That's because you're not a kid anymore." Buffy pats her sisters thigh.

"Alright, let go over everything." Giles states. "Xander and Faith, how is patrol going?"

"All good. Maybe five or six vamps a night. The usual." Faith shrugs.

"I'm not dead so that means it went well in my book." Xander grins.

"Tara and Willow?" Giles inquires.

"Anya helped us get all the supplies. She has it in Xander's car." Willow informs.

"Thank you, Anya." Buffy smiles warmly.

"I researched the spell with Willow. I can do it." Tara squeezes Buffy's hand.

"Buffy, how are you physically?" Giles asks looking her over for injuries.

"All healed." Giles narrows his eyes on his slayer, knowing that she has hidden injuries before. Buffy rolls her eyes at her watcher. "Faith, Tara, am I healed?" Both girls nod their heads and Buffy gives Giles a smug look.

"If I may ask, how are you doing mentally?" Giles approaches the subject gently. She looks a lot better. The circles under her eyes are gone and she seems to have put on a few pounds.

"A little better." She admits. "It hurts still. I think it always will. Not many people have to walk around with the memory of heaven."

"Do you feel well enough to do the spell? It might be a bit intense." Giles warns.

"I'm as ready as I can be. I'm nervous and really just want to get it over with." Buffy bites on her bottom lip. "I need to know what's wrong with me." She whispers.

"No." Faith fiercely objects. "Not what's wrong. It's about what's different."

"Yeah. Nothings wrong with you, sweetie." Tara smiles warmly.

"Buffy, would you like everyone here for the spell or just Willow and Tara?" Giles questions. "We would understand either way. It's a very personal matter."

Hazel eyes look around at everyone in the room and sees the caring expressions they give her. She thinks about all they've been through. All the good and bad, and makes her decision. "You guys are the only family I have. I want you all here." Buffy smiles. "I love you guys."

-

Thirty minutes later, Tara and Buffy sit in a circle across from each other, candles surrounding them. The rest of the gang are sat along the wall, expect Willow who is behind Tara just outside the circle.

"Buffy, when you're ready Willow is going to light all the candles. I'm going to grab your hands and say the spell in Latin. Everything you see, I will see too. I'll be here the whole time. Say the word and we stop." Tara squeezes Buffy's hand reassuringly. "Do you still want to do this?"

Buffy takes a big breath and lets it out slowly. "Yeah. Let's do this. I'm ready." She nods.

"Alright. Close your eyes and we will begin." Tara instructs. Hazel eyes close and Tara nods at Willow to start lighting the candles.

Buffy breathes evenly as she hears the flick of the match. As Tara starts speaking words she can't understand, she starts to feel calm. Tara's here with her. She can do this. Suddenly the word spins and she opens her eyes. She lets out a breath when she finds herself seated in front of a fire in a dessert.

"Here again?" Buffy grumbles.

"It makes sense, sweetie." Buffy jumps at Tara's voice and glances over to see the witch standing beside her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay. I just didn't know you were there." The blonde smiles and looks over when she sees a flash. Just like before, there's a figure on the other side of the fire. "You're not the first slayer." Buffy's eyebrows furrow.

"No, I am you." Tara's voice sounds from beside her.

"You're speaking through her? This is like that dream I had." Buffy mumbles. "What do you mean you're me? You don't look like me." Buffy examines the figure, not able to see her clearly but able to look into bright yellow eyes. "You don't even look human."

"I'm not."

"But I am." Buffy points out. Frustration tugs at her as she struggles to understand.

"Not fully."

"Not fully?" Buffy frowns. "So I did come back wrong. I came back a demon?"

"You always have been."

"That doesn't make sense." She argues. "If I've always been a demon then Spike would have been able to hit me from the start."

"When the first slayer was made, she was not mystically called. Three men took a young girl and used magic to combine her with a demon. The ritual worked and they named her the Slayer."

"I still don't understand." Buffy rubs at her eyes.

"The men named themselves the council and decided to watch the slayer. Help her in her battles. They planned to use the ritual on another girl when the first slayer died, but they didn't have to."

"Another girl was called. The same way I was." Buffy gazes at the figure across from her.

"When they found this girl she already had the demon in her."

"So I was human until I was called, then I turned into a demon." Buffy thinks about this fact and actually finds that it makes sense. She had wondered before where her powers came from, but was told no one knew.

"You are half human, half slayer-demon. Your demon gives you your strength, speed, stamina, healing properties, and senses. Your human side gives you your soul and emotional strength. All of it combined is what makes a slayer what she is. I am your demon side."

"Are you the same demon that has been in all the other slayers?" Buffy questions.

"No. Each slayer gets a brand new demon when called. That's why you have the strength, but not the skill. Both sides have to train to fight. Both you and I were new to our powers."

"So what changed when I came back?" Buffy wonders.

"When you came back from heaven, I came back with you. I knew we needed to protect ourselves more and your human side wasn't in agreement. I managed to take over more, to protect you myself. By doing that we merged some. No longer just human side and slayer side but one being."

"So it made my human side a little more demon-y? That's why Spikes chip doesn't work on me?" The blonde focuses more on the figure and can feel a connection. Can feel a sense of familiarity.

"Yes. We are connected more now. We work to protect each other and the world. That is our purpose."

"Nothings wrong with me." Buffy murmurs. "If anything I just became more me."

"There is one more thing. Our merge is not complete. We are one being, but still with separate parts and thoughts. If you accept me and we merge, we could be stronger."

"Wouldn't I be just a demon then?" Buffy inquires.

"No. You will still be a human-demon hybrid. I will just be more prominent. We will be able to communicate and people may see me."

"See you how?" Buffy thinks about a bumpy demon her and shudders.

"Your eyes will be more like mine."

"This will make me stronger?" Buffy considers.

"Yes. Strength, speed, senses, everything will improve."

"Is any slayer able to do this?" Buffy thinks about what this could mean for her and Faith. If they could be even better than they are now. They could do so much more.

"Yes. More slayers did it long ago, but eventually the council decided to keep the information to themselves."

"Okay. So, how to we do this?" Buffy stares at the figure and smiles. If this could help her save more people, she's more than willing. It's her duty.

"Just close your eyes and focus on opening yourself to me."

Buffy lets her eyes fall shut and silently tells this part of her to come to her. She thinks about their duty and the people they love. She knows that if this is a part of her, that part will want the same thing as she does, will love the same people she does. She gasps as she starts to feel warm all over and an intense sense of joy brings tears to her eyes. She's complete for the first time in her life. She can feel it.

"End." Tara's eyes open as the candles go out and she slumps backwards panting. Willow catches her and wipes the sweat from her forehead. Tara watches as Buffy comes back, falling backwards into Faith, who ran over there after watching Tara. Buffy breathes heavily her eyes still shut.

"You with us, B?" Faith worries.

"Yeah. That just took a lot out of me." Buffy explains.

"Tara too from the looks of it." Faith glances at Tara, smiling at the sweaty witch when they make eye contact.

"Thanks for catching me." Buffy finally opens her eyes to peer at Faith.

"Oh my God." Faith moves stray pieces of blonde hair away from Buffy's eyes. "Buffy, your eyes."

"Are they horrible?" Buffy worries reaching to cover them. Smiling, Faith grabs her hands.

"No, B. They're beautiful." Faith stares at the slayer, letting all her love show for once. Buffy turns and places a kiss on Faith's cheek.

"What do you think guys?" Buffy looks at all of them one by one.

"Oh my god. Buffy they made you even prettier." Dawn exclaims. "Guess I don't have the best eyes anymore. No fair." She jokingly grumbles, earning a grin from Buffy.

"They look similar to my demon days." Anya sniffles, making the group roll their eyes.

"Demons a good look on you, Buff." Xander nods.

"You're quite fetching." Giles smiles warmly.

"Very bright and pretty." Agrees Willow. Buffy smiles at them all and looks to check on Tara.

"You doing okay, Tara?" Buffy checks.

"I'm fine, sweetie. Just tired. That was a big spell for me." Tara assures.

"Which you did amazing at." Willow smiles. "I told you when we first met, you're an awesome witch." Tara blushes and squeezes Willow's hand in thanks.

"It was splendid, Tara. You are much more powerful than you think." Honestly, it seems she's much more powerful than he thought too. Giles wonders how far that power goes.

"Thank you. I'm just happy I could help." Tara beams at the approval of her role model.

"So, I'm guessing because no one was shocked by my eyes that you guys heard it all?" Buffy questions.

"Yes. I'm not the weird one anymore. Though I am slightly jealous of your demon status." Anya states seriously, making everyone laugh.

"Do you want to see your eyes?" Dawn beams at her sister, holding a mirror she grabbed from the bathroom.

"I'm a little nervous but sure." Buffy takes the mirror and takes a big breath before holding it in front of her face. "Whoa." Her eyes are a very striking dark yellow. Similar to a vampires only hers are a little darker and seem to almost glow. "I look so different."

"So beautiful." Tara murmurs, blushing deeply when Buffy looks at her. Buffy sends her a smile and Tara smiles back.

"Why don't you and Tara get some rest?" Giles suggests. "We will get together tomorrow and talk about where to go from here."

"Sounds good." Buffy agrees. "Thank you guys for being here. This helped more than you will ever know. I found a missing piece of me."

-

"Do you guys mind if I climb in with you?" Faith asks once Buffy and Tara settle in bed.

"Of course not." Tara waves her over. Both girls laugh when Buffy hums out a single note in agreement, already seeming to be half asleep. "The spell wore her out."

"Looks that way. Did it you too?" Faith looks in blue eyes.

"Yeah. I'm just a little more use to spells than she is." Tara yawns and laughs. "See?" She lays there for a minute in quiet. "Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to do what Buffy did?" Tara wonders. "You don't have to answer, I was just wondering."

"I'm not sure yet." Faith furrows her brow. "It's weird to know there's a demon in me. What if mine's bad? What if that's why I did those things?"

"It's not. You're not bad. You made mistakes, that doesn't make you bad." Tara reaches over to grab Faith's hand. "And you'll have me here to remind you of that." She smiles.

"I'm gonna talk to B, see how she feels in a couple days. See what it's like." Faith explains. "Give me a while to get use to the idea. Ya know?"

"That's completely understandable." Tara smiles.

"We should get some sleep." Faith suggests when Tara yawns again.

"Okay. Goodnight, Faith."

"Night, Tara."

-

"Thank you for going with me today." Dawn blushes sitting across from Willow in the Espresso Pump.

"You're welcome, Dawnie." The red-head sips on her mocha slowly. "We won't have to do this again, right?" Dawn squeaks when Willow pulls the equivalent of the mom glare and sends it her way.

"No. Never." The young girl shakes her head fiercely. "That was embarrassing and I felt so bad for those people. They didn't deserve me stealing from them." Dawn looks down and absentmindedly starts playing with her straw.

Willow watches the guilt spread across Dawn's face and softly sighs. She knows that this is something Dawn is going to have to feel to learn. It doesn't make it easy to watch though. Especially since she know exactly what the guilt from hurting people feels like. "We've all done things we regret lately. All of us are working to fix it."

Dawn sends the witch a small smile as she starts drinking her shake. "I'm glad that the group is doing better together. I was always so sad when we split apart."

"So was I." Willow admits thinking about all the things she was doing and not sharing with her two best friends.

"Have you noticed that Tara and Faith have been sleeping in Buffy's bed?" Dawn questions curiously. "They seem to be getting closer."

"Yeah, Tara said that it helps Buffy's nightmares." Willow nods. Honestly, Willow has noticed a change in the dynamic between those three. Buffy had never taken notice to Tara until now; and everyone knows the history between Buffy and Faith. Part of Willow feels sad that Buffy is trusting them more than her. She does understand that she's the one that caused Buffy the most pain. Willow decided that however Buffy wanted her in her life, she would be there. She owed her that.

"It's almost movie time!" Dawn exclaims looking down at the watch. "Let's go!" She grins, very much enjoying the love she's been getting lately. Willow smiles at the younger girl and starts walking with her.

-

"Damn, B." Faith pants heavily, bent over with with her hands on her knees. Giles has had them sparring to test Buffy's strength and speed since merging with her slayer demon. "I'm going to have some serious bruises." Faith rubs her sore arms and abdomen.

"This is crazy, I'm not even tired." Buffy grins bouncing on her toes.

"It's quite interesting." Giles comments. "Your strength, stamina, and senses seem to have doubled. I just do not understand why the council would keep this from everyone."

"Maybe they thought that if we knew we were demons, we wouldn't want to kill other demons." Faith sits on the ground watching as Buffy cartwheels across the back yard. She laughs at the never ending energy the girl has right now. There has been an obvious change in Buffy's mood since the merging. She almost completely back to a happy place and Faith and Tara couldn't be happier for her.

The difference has made Faith wonder if she should do the merging. She just has the worst fear that her demon is bad. That if she merges she's going to end up hurting people again. She can't do that again. Giles has explained that not all demons are bad and that she has a soul but a soul didn't stop her before. She's always had a craving for violence and what if she takes it too far?

"We only kill the bad demons anyway. We know there are good demons. Like Clem." Buffy comments as she sits next to Faith.

"I brought water." Tara announces as she walks outside.

"You are a god." Faith opens the water and gulps it down in one go, making Tara chuckle.

"I didn't actually hurt you, did I?" Buffy worries, scraping her teeth across her bottom lip.

"Nah, I'm five by five, B." Faith smiles looking into yellow eyes. "I just haven't had that much of a work out in ages."

"She's gotten soft." Tara stage whispers to Buffy making the blonde slayer giggle.

"Hey! I resent that statement!" Faith falls backwards to lay in the grass. "No matter how true it is."

Giles observes the three girls as they seemingly forget that he is there at all. Out of all people, Faith and Tara are the last he thought Buffy would seek comfort in. It makes him smile as he watches them bickering and laughing together.


	7. Bury It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith and Buffy have to find a way to finally put the past behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!!! I may not be posting quite as often, I haven't had much time to write because I just started college. I'm only one week in and it's already kicking my ass. I hope you all enjoy the chapter! Reviews mean the world to me!!!

"Hey, B?" Faith whispers, knowing that her sister slayer isn't asleep yet but not wanting to wake Tara.

"Yeah?" Buffy rolls over so she can see Faith. Faith has to remind herself to breathe when she sees the yellow eyes that show even in the dark.

"Do you think my demon could be bad? And that’s why I did those things?" Faith breaks eye contact, hating to think about the things she's done.

"Can I ask you a question and you be honest with me?" Buffy reaches out and lifts Faith's chin so they can make eye contact again.

"Anything." Faith states seriously.

"When you staked that guy that worked for the mayor, it was an accident right?" Buffy questions, already knowing the answer but feeling like it was important for Faith to go through it all.

"Of course." Faiths brow furrows.

"When you realized he was human, what did you feel? Be very descriptive." Buffy watches the pain clouding Faith's eyes and hates that she's the reason causing it.

"I was shocked, it took a minute to sink in what had just happened. Then everything just hurt. I knew I had taken a life and I felt sick and scared. I felt like no one was going to want anything to do with me now. So, I became defensive." Faith shrugs.

"When you told me that you didn't care, why did you say it?" Buffy reaches out to play with the dark slayer’s hair.

"I needed to get you to leave. To not be tainted by me. I didn't want to hurt you. Then I did anyway by telling Giles it was you and that whole thing with Angel. I thought by being with the mayor, I could piss you off so much that you would kill me. I felt like you deserved to be the one to do it." Faith squeezes her eyes shut and swallows harshly. "I had caused you too much pain."

Buffy sniffles trying to hold back the tears in her eyes. "And when you woke up from the coma?"

"It was all the same. I hated myself. I wanted to be like you, then I realized after the body switch that I couldn't. Even in your skin I could never be as good as you. After that I went to LA to get Angel to kill me. You know the rest." Faith finishes.

"Everything you did was out of guilt." Buffy presses her finger to Faiths lips as the dark-haired girl tries to protest. "You felt guilty and you wanted to die because of it. A bad demon would have loved the killing. It would have been proud of it." Buffy smiles at Faith. "You aren’t."

"If I merge like you did-" Faith takes a deep breath. "-you don't think I'd be bad again?"

"I think you'll be exactly the Faith you are now." Buffy swipes at a tear that fell from brown eyes.

"Thank you."

-

"You couldn't have picked a better movie?" Faith groans as the film starts to play.

"Hey! I like Bambi." Buffy pouts. God, Faith thought, she was too cute.

"It is a Disney classic, Faith." Tara grins crookedly.

"It's fucking depressing." The dark-haired slayer mumbles.

"Language." Buffy warns glancing over to Dawn. Faith smirks as the teenager turns to roll her eyes at her older sister.

"I go to public school, ya know." Dawn points out. "I hear worse than that."

"I'm choosing denial." Buffy mumbles. "You're still a ten-year-old pain in my butt."

"Technically I was never ten." Dawn points out. The younger girl realizes her mistake way too late. Dawn groans as the cocky look crosses Buffy's face.

"Exactly. You're actually one and a half. Way too young for cursing, boys, any movies other than animation..." Buffy trails off.

"I hate you." Dawn grumbles as she turns to watch Bambi, a pout taking place on her face.

"Buffy, be nice to Dawnie." Tara reprimands. The blonde slayer looks at the Wiccan with a pout identical to Dawn's. There was no denying that they were sisters.

"She's the one who said she hated me." Buffy whines. All three of the other women burst out laughing at the childish tone coming from the oldest one in the room. "I don't know why I deal with you all." Buffy grumbles with a fond smile on her face.

"You love us." Tara grins at her. The blonde wiccan's breath hitches as she looks into yellow eyes.

"I do." Buffy whispers before looking at Faith. "I really do."

-

Willow stands in the entrance way to the house watching the whole interaction. She lets a small smile cross her face as she sees the love surrounding the three women. The redhead has figured out that Buffy, Tara, and Faith are in love. They all have the feelings but none of them realize that the others feel the same. It's not a conventional relationship by any means, but Willow can see that they would be happy.

Part of Willow is sad and jealous that Tara is moving on. She's always going to love Tara; but Willow now understood that she lost Tara all on her own. Tara deserved to be happy. Hell, Buffy and Faith deserved to be happy too. All three of them have been through so much that it kind of makes sense for the three of them to be together. Now she just has to get all of them to open their eyes and realize that they belong together.

Her new goal was set.

-

Tara was sitting on the couch with Dawn when Buffy and Faith stormed in from patrol. Tara winced at the anger she could feel coming from both of them and had to put her shields up. She needed to help, she couldn’t be influenced by their feelings.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't need or want you to protect me?" Buffy yells her yellow eyes flashing.

"I don't really care what you want, B!" Faith starts walking up the stairs clutching her side as she goes. Tara frowns at the sight of blood on Faith's hand.

"I'm not a little damsel in distress! I took care of myself without you for years." Buffy growls as she chases Faith up the stairs. Tara sighs and starts walking up the stairs after them.

"Yeah, and you got yourself killed twice!" Faith laughs bitterly. "I'm not letting that happen again."

"News flash, Faith!" Buffy threw her hands up. "A knife to the side wouldn't have killed me anymore than it did you."

"So, I was supposed to stand there and watch you get stabbed?" Faith questions stepping into Buffy's personal space.

"Yeah. That's exactly what you do!" Buffy doesn’t back down as Faith gets in her face, obviously trying to intimidate her. Tara shakes her head at the stupidity of their argument.

"No. I wasn't going to stand there and watch you take a knife to the stomach, B." Faith growls as her and Buffy glare strongly at each other. Faith sucks in a deep breath as she sees a bitter smile cross Buffy's face.

"Why not, F? You owe me one." Buffy reaches to Faith side, pointing at the scar she knows is there. "Wouldn't that be at least a little satisfying?"

"Buffy!" Tara exclaims shocked at the blonde’s behavior. "Faith!" She yells as Faith grabs Buffy by the collar, yanks her off the floor, and slams her into the wall.

"Fuck you, Buffy!" Faith screams in her face. "You really think after all of this, that I want that?" Faith grunts as Buffy manages to get her foot up and kick Faith away from her.

"You should!" Buffy starts walking towards her. Faith quickly sweeps the blondes feet out from under her and lands on top of Buffy as she hit the ground.

"I swear to god, B." Faith struggles with Buffy trying to pin her arms down. "When are you going to get rid of the guilt? We've already talked about this! I'm not letting you get hurt because you feel bad about doing your job. I deserved it, Buffy." Buffy presses her foot on the floor and flips them over, so Faith is on the ground.

"Shut up!" Buffy pulls her fist back and that's when Tara decides to step in.

"SEPARATE." Tara moves her hand and Faith and Buffy find themselves glued to opposite sides of the room. "I was going to try to let you guys work this out yourselves, but apparently you are both too pig headed for that." Tara runs her hand through her hair while looking at the two slayers. Both panting angrily against the walls. "Is this really what you want?" Tara gestures to them. "You want to fight and hurt each other like you use to?"

"I just..." Buffy trails off weakly. "She's hurt because of me." Buffy stares at the floor.

"How did Faith get hurt?" Tara lifts Buffy's chin up.

"There were three demons and when I killed one, I went to turn around and the other demon was waiting to stab me. Faith realized what he was doing and before I fully turned around Faith pushed me out of the way and took the knife herself." Buffy quietly explains.

"Did you tell Faith to do that?"

"No." Buffy lets a tear fall. "I just don't know why you couldn’t just let me take it." Buffy looks up at Faith. "I heal faster than you now."

"I just did what felt natural." Faith explains. "I just never want to see you hurt again."

Buffy smiles sadly at Faith. "I'm a slayer, Faith. I'm going to get hurt sometimes."

"We have to do something to bury the past between you two." Tara releases the spell she was using to keep them from moving. "You can't change the past and arguing with each other over it is just going to make your relationship toxic."

"I have an idea." Buffy whispers looking at the floor again.

"I'd like to hear it." Tara smiles softly at the blonde.

"I need to go get something. Can you help patch Faith up while I do that?" Buffy feels her chest tighten as she looks at the blood on Faith's hands and shirt. She then looks down and sees blood on her clothing that dripped from the other slayer as they fought.

"I've got her." Tara nods, watching as Buffy leaves the room. Sighing quietly, she turns back around and grabs the first aid kit. "Shirt off, please." Faith makes a smart-assed comment in her head but decides not to voice it, considering the situation they're in. She winces slightly as she pulls the shirt over her head, feeling the wound stretch slightly. Tara quickly gets to work.

"I keep hurting her." Faith whispers. "I don’t mean to. I-I don’t want to." She looks down at her hands. "I'm just a fuck up." Blue eyes meet hers as Tara's head snaps up.

"No." Tara sternly says. "You and Buffy have short tempers. She was just as involved with this argument as you. That's all it is. An argument." Tara finishes bandaging Faith's side. "You're going to have arguments. It's normal."

"I just don't want her to hurt anymore." Faith softly confesses.

"I know."

-

Buffy walks into her room and sighs heavily. Moving to her closet she feels nauseated at what she has to find. She digs past shoes and books and a bunch of other knick knacks until she finds a slim box. It's a box that she hasn’t opened since graduation. Just seeing the box makes her want to drop it and never look at it again. She sits the box on her vanity as she changes her clothes. She silently worries that Faith will react badly to seeing the knife again. The knife the mayor gave her.

The knife Buffy plunged into her stomach.

"Please don't hate me." Buffy whispers to herself as she walks back to the bathroom. She walks in just as Faith is pulling a clean shirt on.

"Is that what you needed?" Tara asks looking at the box, not having a clue what could be in it. She can feel Buffy's worry and sadness as the tiny blonde tries to find the right words to say.

"Yeah..." Buffy trails off. "I think we should bury it." She takes a huge breath and takes the top off. Faith gasps a little when she sees it.

"You kept it?" Faith whispers.

"I sort of used it to taunt the mayor." Buffy avoids eye contact. "Then I just kept it as a reminder of my guilt. As a reminder of what a monster I became in that moment."

"Not a monster, B." Faith states softly. "A monster likes it. You didn’t like it. I saw how much it hurt you."

"Are you mad that I kept it?" Buffy questions softly.

"Nah." Faith reaches out to briefly rub the blonde’s arm. "Now we can bury it together and be done with it."

"That sounds good, guys." Tara smiles. "I'll let you two do that."

-

"Well, the hole is dug." Faith comments looking at the small spaces they made in the ground.

"I'm sorry I threw our past in your face today." Buffy says guiltily.

"It's alright. We're still learning how to get along." Faith smirks. "We were never good at that."

Buffy snorts a laugh. "No, we weren’t."

"So now, we put it behind us." Faith comments. "For real this time."

"For real." Buffy agrees. Buffy kneels on the ground and places the box in the hole. Standing up she hands Faith the shovel.

Both girls feel relieved as the box is covered.

-

"That was so unfair!" Dawn proclaims breathlessly. Tara, Buffy, Faith, Dawn, Willow, and Xander had decided to spend the day at the park playing basketball. Dawn bends over to rest her hands of her knees, trying to gain her breath back.

"I agree." Willow grimaces as she wipes sweat from her forehead. This is why she wasn't a sports person.

"You're just mad because we won." Buffy teases them.

"We were pitted against two slayers and a witch that didn't even have to lift a finger." Xander points out. "We didn't have a chance."

"Hey! I played." Tara argues. Technically she did play. She just barely had to with the speed of the other two.

"Don't piss off the wiccan, Xander." Faith smirks.

"Tara's mean when she's mad." Buffy nods beside her fellow slayer. "You're just jealous of our dutifully earned basketball skills."

"You were mystically chosen, you earned nothing!" Dawn throws her hands up. "I was mystically chosen to be a key. Why didn't that have any perks?" The teenager grumbles.

"Hey, we both had things that wanted to drain our blood from us." Faith laughs at the glare pointed at her.

"I don't really call that a perk." Dawn rolls her eyes.

"It's going to be dark soon." Buffy comments looking at the sky. "Come on, all keys need to be inside before dark!"

"I am so moving out when I'm eighteen."

-

"I think I want to merge." Faith announces one morning. Buffy and Tara look over at her and smile. Buffy hasn't had a nightmare in a while. They haven't addressed why they all still sleep together. Tara hasn't been to her apartment other than to grab her stuff. Faith never sleeps downstairs.

"That's great sweetie." Tara encourages.

"How do I do it?" Faith inquires as she sits up in the bed. "Do I have to do the reading spell Buffy did?" Buffy give Faith a look that says 'I don’t know' and looks over at Tara.

"I wouldn’t think so." The wiccan answers. "I think you should be able to talk to that side. Maybe get in a meditative state first."

"Can I do it now?" Faith questions.

"If you are one hundred percent sure that’s what you want to do." Buffy smiles. "Don't do it for anyone other than you."

"I watched you become whole when you did it." Faith tells the other slayer. "I've gone around my entire life trying to figure out why I felt so empty. Just being here with you guys has helped and I think that this could make such a difference." Faith makes eye contact with Buffy. "I want to be at peace with myself."

"Then I say you do it." Buffy takes one of her sister-slayers hands and grins when Tara grabs the other.

"Do you want us to leave the room?" Tara soothingly runs her thumb over the back of the girl’s hand. Faith loves how Tara can be so comforting by doing so little.

"Nah. Can you just stay how you are?" Faith smiles gratefully at the two of them before closing her eyes and starting the process.

 

-

 

Giles walks into the Summer's kitchen to put a kettle on when he sees Buffy and Faith sparring in the back yard. Both girls moved so quick, neither of them making any mistakes. By all logic Buffy should be winning considering her newfound strength and speed. Tara sits not far away from them, grinning at the pair as they move. Suddenly, Faith is able to sweep Buffy's legs out from under her and lands on top of the blonde.

When Giles walks outside he can’t help but laugh at Faiths gloating.

"Ha! I got you now, B." Faith hops back to her feet and offers Buffy her hand.

"Man, that was fun!" Buffy grins.

"I must say Faith, I'm impressed." Giles speaks up, making the girls look at him. Giles is shocked to see Faith with eyes a mix of green and yellow. "Oh!" He exclaims. "You merged. How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm finally whole." Faith smirks.

"Well, I suppose you are." Giles smiles. "I'm afraid you're going to have to up your game Buffy." Buffy looks up with an offended look on her face.

"I want to see you go up against her, Giles." Tara speaks up from her spot on the grass.

"I could say the same to you." Giles retorts.

"Oh please, Blondie already took on both of us at the same time." Faith grimaces at the memory of being pinned to the wall. "Couldn't move a muscle."

"Yep, we already learned not to mess with Tara." Buffy agrees, laughing at Giles baffled face.

Giles often wonders how powerful Tara actually is. He always assumed Willow to be the more powerful one, but now he sees that she was just the most dangerous one. Tara seems to be very powerful in her own right. She has a respect for magic that he’s never seen in a young witch before. Her mother must of been an amazing woman to have taught her as well as she did; and he still doesn’t understand how Tara turned out to be so kind with the awful life she had after her mother passed.

"Well I guess I can trust Tara to keep you two in line then." Giles smirks, sharing an amused look with the blonde wiccan.


	8. Come Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where everyone is honest for once.

"Hey Willow." Dawn knocks softly on the red heads door. The older girl was on her bed with her nose buried in a magic book again. Willow looks up and smiles warmly.

"Hey Dawnie. Come in." Willow puts her book to the side and pats the spot next to her on the bed.

"Still studying up?" Dawn asks as she picks up the magic book and flips through it.

"Yeah. Tara says I might be able to start learning to draw energy from the earth soon. I've been reading a lot to make sure I stay away from anything dark." Willow is petrified of feeling the rush of dark magic again. It is just so hard to pull away from.

"That's really good. I know you'll do better this time." Dawn leans into the redhead, smiling as she feels arms wrap around her.

"So, what brings you in here?" Willow inquires. "You're not in any more trouble, are you?"

"No!" Dawn shakes her head vigorously. "I promise. I just wanted to ask you a question."

"Okay. Ask away."

"I think I have a crush on someone at school." Dawn admits blushing. "and I didn't know who to talk to about it." Dawn has never really been one to talk about this stuff with Buffy, and she doesn’t trust anyone at school enough to confide a big secret like this to.

"You can always talk to me Dawnie!" Willows eyes light up at the thought of having some girl talk. It's not something her and Buffy get to do anymore. Not that Buffy would confide much in her these days. Willow doesn't blame her. "So, what’s his name?"

Dawn looks down at her hands as she picks nervously at the skin around her fingernails. This will be the first time that she admits what she's about to say out loud. From what she understands, this is a very big step and who better to talk to about it than Willow.

"That's the thing." Okay Dawn, you can do this. "It's not a boy." God, she's never felt so nervous about something as simple as this.

"Oh." Realization flashes across the red heads face as she grabs Dawn's hand. "Thank you for telling me. I know it’s hard." Willow beams at her.

"I just..." Dawn trails off nervously. "I've never really thought about girls that way before, and I'm not sure if I'm gay because I've had crushes on guys before. I'm just confused."

"Maybe you're bisexual and like both." Willow rubs Dawn's arm softly. "Try not to think too hard about it right now. If you like this girl, see where it goes. As time goes by you will start to understand who you are and what you like."

"The girl I like is Janice." Dawn confesses. "What if I tell her and she thinks I'm a freak and doesn't want to talk to me anymore?"

"If she stops talking to you over something like that, then she was never really your friend in the first place." Willow tucks a strand of Dawns long brown hair behind her ear. "There are many other guys and girls that would be lucky to have you." Before Willow can blink, she has an arm full of Dawn squeezing her tightly.

"Thank you for being my other sister, Willow." Dawn whispers and kisses Willow's cheek. "Please don't ever leave us." The witch tightens her hold on the teenager.

"I could never leave my family." Willow means the words she says. She doesn't know what she would do without them. "I love you Dawnie."

"I love you too."

-

"Damn, B!" Faith exclaims while knocking the dust off her clothes. "Patrol has never been so easy."

Buffy looks up at her with a manic grin on her face and she takes a drink of the water that Tara insists on carrying around for them. "I know!" Buffy high fives the other slayer as she comes over. "They don't even have time to react to us!" Buffy boasts, making Tara chuckle.

"I know you guys are stronger and excited, but I do ask that you are still careful." Tara warns. "You never really know what you will be going against. You can't get cocky." The three continue walking around the cemetery, keeping an eye out for unusual activity.

"You should have been a watcher, Tare." Faith bumps her with an elbow. Buffy really agrees in that statement. Tara would be a great watcher. She encouraging and cautious at the same time. Maybe she should have a talk with Giles.

"I don't know about that." Tara blushes. "I'm not very good at being in charge."

"Are you kidding me?" Buffy laughs. "You've taken charge for weeks now!"

"I think for now I'll stick with my two slayers." At those words from the blonde wiccan, Faith's smile turns into a smirk as she slowly walks up to Tara.

"Your slayers, huh?" Faith teases as she runs her fingers through silky blonde hair. Tara feels like she's blushing from head to toe. She can't believe she let those words slip out of her mouth. "I like that." Faith's facial expressions never fail to send flashes of heat through Tara. She has never met anyone with the intense sexual vibe that Faith puts out sometimes. She takes a glance at Faith's aura and shivers at the lust she sees. Faith wants her?

"I didn't...I, umm." Tara feels so flustered. She looks over at Buffy, who is watching the interaction with heat in her eyes. Does Buffy want this too? Tara doesn’t think Buffy like girls. At least she's never shown an interest before. She always got that kind of vibe with Faith, she just never expected that vibe to be pointed at her. Honestly, she more than expected the two slayers to get together.

"Guys?" Buffy steals their attention. "Maybe we should go back to the house and have a talk?" The blonde slayer seems nervous but also very sure in her decision.

"That's a good idea, B." Faith grins. "Come on Tare-Bear." Faith wraps her arm around Tara's shoulders as they start walking home. Even though all three of them are nervous about what comes next, their walk is spent in comfortable silence. They hear music coming from Willow's room as soon as they open the front door to the house. Dawn sits in the dining room with Giles, the British man being nice enough to assist Dawn in her homework. Giles looks up as they close the front door.

"Good patrol?" Giles walks over to them, unconsciously running his eyes over all of them to look for any hidden injuries. It's something he's done since the beginning. Always wanting to make sure his slayer is safe. Now though, he considers both slayers to be his. In this own way.

"You should have seen it G-man!" Faith boasts. Buffy and Tara laugh at her excitement. "We ripped through at least fifteen vampires and one demon like it was nothing!"

"Enjoying your newfound strength?" Giles chuckles.

"You're damn right, I am!" Faith joking flexes her muscle. "It's like steel under here."

"Just make sure that you are still careful. You can't be getting cocky, you never know whats coming for you next." Giles tries to warn. Buffy and Faith look at each other and start cracking up.

"We told you that you could be a watcher." Buffy elbows Tara gently, making the blonde wiccan laugh with them.

"What am I missing?" Giles eyes shift between the three of them.

"Tara basically told us the same thing like, twenty minutes ago." Buffy fills him in. "We told her that she could of been a watcher."

The thing is, three months ago Giles would have laughed in their faces if they told him that. Now, however, he honestly can see it. Tara has an amazing head of her shoulders. She's able to balance rational and emotional thinking quite well. She's cautious and always making sure the slayers have a plan. She doesn’t allow them to go off halfcocked like Buffy and Faith have a tendency of doing. Plus, her magic skills make her even more valuable.

"I think I have to agree with you, Buffy." Giles sends the shy wiccan a smile. "You're quite capable, Tara."

"Thanks Giles." Tara smiles crookedly at him. "I better go get these two cleaned up so they can have some food in a minute."

"Yes!" Faith exclaims happily. At the amused stares she gets, she shrugs. "What? HH factor, here." She defends herself.

"What is the HH factor?" Giles looks dumbfounded. Buffy suddenly starts coughing heavily.

"Nothing at all Giles!" Buffy grabs Faith's arm and tugs. "Come on, Faith."

Tara shakes her head amused as the two slayers bicker the whole way up the stairs. "I better go make sure they stay out of trouble." The witch turns to follow.

"A full time job." Giles replies as he turns to go back to help Dawn. He grins at the cackle he hears come out of Tara. Buffy is lifting her shirt and showing Faith a black bruise when Tara walks into the room.

"Want me to set a timer, see how long it takes to heal?" Faith asks as she pokes the bruise, making Buffy smack her hands away.

"I give it an hour." Buffy shrugs pulling her shirt back down. "Fighting just isn't fun unless they get at least one hit in."

"See? Now ya got it, B." Faith grins, falling backwards onto Buffy's bed.

"You two are weird." Tara comments as she walks up to them.

"Yes, but you love it that way." Buffy smirks before tangling her fingers with Tara's. "So, talk now?" The blonde slayer bites her lip. Tara looks at the two slayers and sighs deeply. She is extremely nervous about this conversation. Worried about rejection and ruining everything. Worried about getting kicked out of the scooby gang completely. Just worried. Might as well get this over with.

"I'm going to start. I want you both to know that I don't expect anything out of either of you, but this is something you need to know. Even if it’s a little weird." Tara feels a bit better when she sees no judgement in their brightly colored eyes. "Over the past few months, I have fallen in love with both of you." Tara turns around so she can't see them. "I know it’s strange, being two people and not one but I really can't help what I feel." Tara feels herself trembling as she waits for the response. Not knowing whether to expect yelling or acceptance, or the "just a friend" speech.

"Tara, sweetie, turn around." Buffy orders softly. Tara slowly does as she's told and feels nothing but relief at the smiles the other two are giving her. "It's okay." Buffy takes her hand and pulls her to sit between the chosen two. "I've been thinking about this a lot." Buffy starts. "It's unconventional, but it feels right. I've fallen in love with both of you as well. It scared the hell out of me." The blonde chuckles. "I've never even kissed a girl, never mind falling in love with two." Buffy glances over at Faith and grins. "Even though Faith and I have some sexual tension from way back."

"Damn right we do." Faith laughs. "From the moment we met."

"But-" Buffy continues. "I think we had to wait for you. I think we need you there to mediate and love us."

"Really?" Tara chews on her lip as she glances at the brunette in the room. "Faith?"

"I'm not really great at talking about my feelings." Faith admits as she looks down at her lap. "I'm working on it though. I'm not really ready to say..." She trails off. "You know? But I do feel the same thing." Faith smirks at them. "And two hot blondes for me? Every girl’s dream." They all burst into laughter at that.

"I can't believe you two would want someone like me." Tara frowns looking down at herself.

"Are you kidding me?" Buffy pulls Tara to her feet. "You are so gorgeous. Those eyes and that smile." Buffy scans her eyes downwards. "Not to mention these curves." Buffy leans in and presses a light kiss to Tara's lips. "Any girl would be lucky to have you."

"I definitely agree." Faith places a longer kiss on Tara's lips. A tiny whimper leaves Tara's lips as she pulls back.

"You two are going to be the death of me." Tara comments as she strokes both of their cheeks. The two slayers eye each other as they feel their nerves spike up. All the good and bad between them has led up to this moment and neither of them want to mess it up. Faith's eyes dart down to Buffy's lips as she steps a little closer.

"Can I, B?" Faith checks. She's never really felt this nervous about kissing someone. Of course, Faith's never really been into relationships either. At Buffy's nod the brunette leans in to connect their lips. All three of the girl’s shiver. Buffy and Faith finally getting some relief from this constant ache in them both and Tara feeling so much love for them both.

"I think-" Buffy breathes as she pulls away from Faith. "I think everything is going to be okay now." She smiles. The other two can't help but agree.

\--------

Buffy trembles as she stands outside of Willow's bedroom door. It was Buffy's idea to tell Willow about her new polyamorous relationship with her ex. Buffy didn't want any more secrets in her life. They really do make you sick. She should know. Letting out a long breath, Buffy raises her hand and knocks on the door. Opening it after hearing Willows small voice say "Come in."

"Hey Wils." Buffy greets as she goes to join Willow on the bed. "What are you up to?"

"I did some meditation and now I'm studying out of one of the books Tara gave me." The redhead shows her the oversized book. "What's going on with you? Is Faith feeling good after the merge?"

"She is, we both are." Buffy smiles. "It's not just the merge that helped me, it's-"

"Faith and Tara." Willow interrupts with a small smile on her face. Buffy's yellow eyes widen comically after Willow finishes her sentence.

"How did you..." Buffy trails off.

"I figured it out a few weeks ago." Willow chuckles. "I was just waiting on you three to figure it out."

"You've known for weeks?" Buffy asked shocked.

"I know the way Tara looks at someone she loves. I know the tiny pitch change in your voice when you talk to someone, you’re in love with. I can clearly see Faith's protectiveness over the people she loves. I've spent time just watching you three interact." Willow admits. "You work surprisingly well together. The more I saw, the more I knew that you were supposed to be together."

Buffy blinks back tears at the redhead’s words. "Does this mean that you're okay with this?" The blonde really hopes she doesn't lose her best friend. Willow grabs Buffy's hand and squeezes. 

"Go get Tara and Faith. I want to talk to you all together." Willow gives her hand a small pat before letting go. Buffy is confused but isn't sensing a bad vibe from the redhead, so she stands to do that. Willow sits and breathes deep counting to forty-nine before she sees them come back into the room. All three of them look very nervous.

"Tara, I will always have love for you, but now it's as one of my closest friends. I treated you terribly and I will forever be sorry for that." Willow can see the forgiveness in Tara's eyes. "I honestly believe that Buffy and Faith would never hurt you like that." Faith looks a little surprised at the witch’s words. Willow grins and them and adds "Also, I made a plan of how to get you three together a couple weeks ago, but you guys beat me to it." 

Buffy's eyes water before she gives Willow a look that she knows well. It always ends in a Slayer tackle hug. Buffy really underestimates her own strength. "No, Buffy don't." Willow laughs. Buffy grins mischievously and Willow squeals as Buffy launches herself at Willow, knocking her down on the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm sorry for the break between updates. I am currently in my last two weeks of this college semester and have been very busy. Thank you for being so patient and please provide feedback!


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